The jokes

What's the difference between child abuse and abandonment?

The abused ones are forced to listen while being abused, while abandoned kids cry because they don't have parents anymore.

How did the black woman name her 4 babies?

Tyrone, Tyrone, Tyrone, and Tyrone.

How did she differentiate them?

She called them by their last names.

Did you know that a majority of the U.S. is afraid of the dark?

Especially if they are right behind you at the ATM.

What do women and KFC have in common?

After you get done with the thighs and breasts, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.

Guys, I promise I’m not suicidal, I just like dark things.

*proceeds to walk around the house with headphones in and stare at the ceiling while laying down on the couch*

I took my friend skydiving once, and he jumped out of the plane without a parachute. Then I remembered he was emo.

Normally the reason you don't get a knife when you ask for one is because the person you asked is emo.

What's the difference between Ironman and Ironwoman?

One's a superhero, one's a command.

It's illegal to go onto someone's property, demand money that they might not have while wearing all black, and threaten horrible things if they don't pay.

But when the IRS does it, it's perfectly fine. HMMMMM . . .

I think it’s dumb that people say a woman belongs in the kitchen.

How else is the rest of the house going to get cleaned?