The jokes
I found a chest of gold in my garden the other day. I wanted to run straight home to tell my wife about it.
Then I remembered why I was digging in my garden.
What’s the difference between Micheal Jackson and a grocery bag?
One is plastic and dangerous for children to play with, the other is used for carrying groceries.
What’s the difference between Rosa Parks and Muhammad Ali?
One fought for freedom, the other fought for fun.
What’s better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics?
Not being retarded.
I loved the Twin Towers, it's a shame my dad didn't.
I've thought about suicide, but there's always been a part of me that knows I wouldn't be able to live with the decision.
Why were there only 3,000 Mexicans at the Battle of the Alamo? Cause there were only 4 trucks.
Man: Doctor, where are you taking me?
Doctor: To the morgue.
Man: But I’m not dead yet.
Doctor: Are we there yet?
Me: *posts random joke about a duck*
That one guy in the comment section for no reason: "Shut the f*uck up you dumb b*tch you are a piece of sh*t you..."
That other guy in the comment section: "That’s actually offensive to ducks."
Bro it’s a joke...
I tried to warn my son about playing Russian roulette. It went in one ear and out the other.
Jokes about ISIS are all about the execution.
How do you piss off a disabled person?
You put the cookie on the other shoulder.
Yo mama so fat that when she gets in the truck, it breaks.
What happens when a strawberry gets run over crossing the street? Traffic jam.
What did one plate say to the other plate?
"Dinner's on me."
Did you hear about the guy whose left side was cut off? He's all right now.
Why couldn't the sunflower ride its bike? It lost its petals!
Why did the egg hide? It was a little chicken!
I was once playing the bottle flip challenge on the school table with my friend, and when it was his turn, the bottle fell to his eggplant! 😱😂
What is the shortest month of the year?
May, it only has 3 letters!