The jokes
What's the difference between a Palestinian and a redneck?
At least the redneck was drunk when he married his cousin.
What’s the difference between rape and marriage?
With marriage, you get to keep the screaming woman.
What do you call a kid laying down in the classroom? Kill confirmed.
What do you call three kids laying down in the classroom? Kill streak.
What’s the difference between a firefighter and Snoop Dogg?
Snoop Dogg inhaled less smoke during 9/11.
What’s one thing Obama proved during his presidency?
No matter how far a brotha gets in life, he’s still going to have the cops on his back.
Why did the drum take a nap? It was beat.
What's the best way to catch a fish? Ask someone to throw it to you.
Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.
What are the last two words you say after sex before going to sleep?
"Goodnight, Mom!"
Why are women’s feet so small?
So they can stand closer to the sink.
Why did the baby cross the road? The car seat wasn’t strapped in.
The other day I went to a museum. My friend and I went to the Holocaust section, and he got choked up when he saw the Anne Frank picture. I asked him, "Why are you sad? It's just an ashtray."
What's the difference between John Wayne and Jack Daniels?
Jack Daniels is still killing Indians.
What's the difference between Jedi and a rapist?
Nothing, they both use the Force to get what they want.
What does a Travis Scott concert and the Titanic cabin have in common? The music doesn’t stop when people start dying.
I taped a picture of Bill Cosby to my gun, now it's an assault rifle.
What is the difference between women and cars?
At least one of them retained their value after getting wrecked.
My last relationship ended because I didn’t open the car door for her. Instead, I just went to the top of the water.
Q. What's the difference between an abortion clinic and Uber Eats?
Abortion clinics don't do deliveries.
What's the most embarrassing thing about locking your keys in the car outside a pregnancy care center?
Having to go inside and ask for a coat hanger.