The jokes
The bible says to love your neighbors as you love yourself.
So I treat everyone like garbage.
Q: Why couldn't the queer wist eating his hot dog?
A: Because it tasted like shit.
Q: What did the Iceberg say to the Titanic?
A: I'd hit that.
Q: What did Jesus say when he got nailed to the cross?
A: Owwww!!!!!
Q: Do you know the quadratic formula?
A: Duhhh!
Comment: Then solve it!
Formula: -b ± √(b2 - 4ac) / 2a
Why are Communists considered the left?
Because they can’t do anything right.
I went to the eye doctor and I couldn't read. They showed me a picture of a birthday cake and I thought it was a menorah!
What's the difference between a club and a bar?
I can only get dead hookers from the club alleyways.
Why did the orphan cross the street? Because they thought that mommy and daddy was on the other side.
"I hear you asking, 'What's your favorite instrument?' The Trombone."
I don't get why people don't like my abortion jokes. Do they have a stick up their ass? Wait, that's the other hole.
Where do you find the best comedians?
In the funny farm!
Why did the crows form a charity?
Because it's all for good caws!
There are three types of people in the world: those who can count, and those who can't.
What does the policeman say to the jumper?
"Hey! Pullover!"
Two fish in a bowl. First fish asks, "Haven't I seen you around here before?"
The second fish replies, "F**k me, a talking fish!"
Why did the cantaloupe 🍈 jump into the pool?
It wanted to become a watermelon 🍉.
What do you call a kid with cancer walking through the airport?
•Terminal
Why was the astronaut washing her hands?
She was getting ready to eat launch.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the side that he was not on.