The jokes
Did you know the pool in the Titanic is still full?
Why does Helen Keller look in the toilet after taking a poop?
Nobody knows!
Why does Helen Keller loom in the toilet after taking a poop?
Nobody knows!
Why did the hedgehog cross the road?
To get to the other side (suicide).
Why did the second hedgehog cross the road?
To see his flatmate.
Why couldn't the orphan go into the restaurant?
It was family friendly.
Why couldn't the girl with no arms hug her parents?
Because she had none of the above.
What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor? Dark humor would be saying, "ten babies in one trashcan." Morbid humor would be saying, "one baby in ten trashcans."
How can you save a depressed person from a tree?
You cut the rope.
Why did the skeleton not go to prom?
Because it had no body to dance with!
My mom told me that she got a new job & I don't have to leave the house.
Then my mom told all my customers are the men that live in our neighborhood.
Then I ask what is your job call. My mom said job hand, then I said job and or is hand job.
My mom said yeah that it. My mom said I'm good at my job that why all the males are always knocking at the door.
What did the bee say to the other bee?
Moo.
Chuck Norris gets paid $2 million a month training Bear Grylls how to survive in the “harshest conditions on earth.”
Chuck Norris once did a roundhouse kick... and successfully completed the bottle cap challenge.
A man is sitting on a bench at a playground where children are playing. A man named Chris comes up and asks, “Which one is yours?” The man said, “I don’t know, I’m still deciding.”
British MP Sally Ann Hart has filed for divorce citing sexual unfulfillment.
Her husband couldn't fuck her the way her stupidity could.
Why can't all guys be more like Kenny? He doesn't get all upset when his mom isn't in the mood.
Why did the orphan cross the ride?
I forgot.
Vegans: Save the Earth.
Normal People: We're trying to, but you guys keep eating it!
*At A Funeral For Someone Who Jumped Off A Building* Victim's Mom: "I wonder what was the last thing that went through his head..."
Me: "Honestly... Probably his ass."
Why did the chicken cross the road? To run from poachers.