The jokes
What commitment does a pimp make to each new hoe he turns out?
Answer: He will always be there for her after the break-in period.
A woman buys a house, but she doesn't know what to name the house, so she stuck her head outside and heard "Hairy butt," so she named the house Hairy Butt.
The next month she had a baby, but she didn't know what to name him, so she stuck her head outside and heard "Crack," so she named the baby Crack.
After a year or two she lost him, so she called the police and said, "Help! I looked all over my hairy butt, but I couldn't find my little crack."
Can all the hot, depressed, suicidal guys just text me so we can meet up and cry together about how depressed we are. For real.
Skinny deformed creature in the distance.
Why did the yeet yeet? It yeeted!
if an emo doesn't get better by Christmas Santas reindeer won't be the only thing jumping off roofs this year
What are the similarities between an emo and some Christmas lights?
They are both going to be hanging from a tree.
Why did the skeleton cross the road?
To get to skull.
What's the difference between a baby and a brick?
A brick doesn't cry when you throw it on a wall.
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
He wiped his ass.
Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team?
Because everybody that can run, jump, and swim is already in the U.S.
What did the drummer call his twin daughters?
Anna one, Anna two!
Why did the old man fall into the well? He couldn't see that well.
If the formula of water is H2O, then what is the formula of ice?
H2O cubed.
What do you call a dog that tells the time?
A watchdog.
The Arabian Sea is in which state?
Liquid.
What did the tree say to the wind?
Leaf me alone.
Why did the skeleton want a friend? Because he was feeling bonely.
I'll never forget my aunt's last words before she died: "Can you stop shaking the ladder, please?"
What did the bank say to the person?
Bank you very much.