The jokes

Husband: Hey, my dear, this lunch is great. Where did you find the recipe?

Wife: In a detective novel.

My grandpa personally killed 3 German pilots. He was the worst mechanic Luftwaffe had.

A penis is driving a car when all of a sudden it gets hit by a car, what did the penis end up saying?

Aaaawwwww I got dicklash!

Why do orphans only have 363 days of the year? They don't have Mother's or Father's Day.

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  • Pewdiepie: I am the best YouTuber ever!

    T-Series: Go away you f***!

    Man A: "Is Google male or female?"

    Man B: "Female, because it does not let you finish the sentence before making a suggestion."

    Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"

    Students: "Meat."

    Teacher: "Very good. Now what does the pig give you?"

    Students: "Bacon."

    Teacher: "And finally, what does the fat cow give you?"

    One of the students: "Homework!"

    WARNING: READ THIS JOKE ALOUD!

    Was it the pills that stopped his coughing, or was it the coffin they carried him off in?

    Why were 6 scared of 7? Because 7 8 9. Then why was 10 afraid? Because it was between 9/11.

    What do you think was going through the heads of the 9/11 victims on floor 43? Floor 44 💀💀

    What do you call 2 octopuses that look the same? Identical!

    Where does an octopus put its money? In an octo-purse!