The jokes
A penis is driving a car when all of a sudden it gets hit by a car, what did the penis end up saying?
Aaaawwwww I got dicklash!
Why do orphans only have 363 days of the year? They don't have Mother's or Father's Day.
Why did the Mexican man throw his wife out of the window...
Ta kill her.
I was making sandcastles with my Nan, then my mum came in the room and took away the urn.
Elsa got a boyfriend, and the boyfriend wanted to try anal.
She wasn't too keen, but she just lay back and shouted "INTO THE UNKNOWN!"
Pewdiepie: I am the best YouTuber ever!
T-Series: Go away you f***!
Man A: "Is Google male or female?"
Man B: "Female, because it does not let you finish the sentence before making a suggestion."
Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"
Students: "Meat."
Teacher: "Very good. Now what does the pig give you?"
Students: "Bacon."
Teacher: "And finally, what does the fat cow give you?"
One of the students: "Homework!"
WARNING: READ THIS JOKE ALOUD!
Was it the pills that stopped his coughing, or was it the coffin they carried him off in?
Why did the squirrel swim on its back?
So it didn't get its nuts wet.
The Twin Towers ordered a pepperoni pizza.
They only got plain.
Why were 6 scared of 7? Because 7 8 9. Then why was 10 afraid? Because it was between 9/11.
What do you think was going through the heads of the 9/11 victims on floor 43? Floor 44 💀💀
August 3rd is the moon of earth, earth, moon, earth, universe.
Rape jokes are not funny.
Look at my name by the way😁.
What do you call 2 octopuses that look the same? Identical!
Where does an octopus put its money? In an octo-purse!
Santa Claus gave a child a bike and a football. The child wasn’t happy. Why?
He had no legs.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
Because they thought they saw their parents. (Plot twist: the orphan got ran over.)
How did we know Princess Diana had dandruff?
'Cause the police found her Head and Shoulders on the dash.
Why did the condom cross the road?
Because he was pissed off.
A man goes into Heaven and there he meets Jesus. He asks Jesus what that broken clock is there for. Jesus says, "That is Mother Teresa’s clock, it has never moved because she has never lied."
"There is Abraham Lincoln's clock. He has lied twice so it has moved twice."
"Where is Donald Trump’s?" asks the man. Jesus answers, "It is in my office, I am using it as a ceiling fan."