The jokes
What is the difference between the assassination of César and the assassination of Jesus?
They were both killed by Romans.
What do you call a cow that's on the ground? Ground beef.
What was Jesus scared of the most?
Snails.
Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
'Cause it got knocked down on its way.
Why did Stephen Hawking go to Hell?
He couldn't get up the stairway to Heaven.
What's the grossest mission NASA could do?
Probing Uranus.
What did the cactus look like with his tuxedo on?
Sharp! 🤣
Q: What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? A: Apples get picked.
One day I asked my mom where kids came from. She said the man who went to the milk store.
Five years later, he came back and left again.
Your mom's so heavy that it caused Atlas, the Titan, to slip a disc.
Time for a random Terraria joke.
Q: Why did the guide die at his house?
A: The player dropped his doll in the lava.
(WALL OF FLESH HAS AWOKEN) :| Oh crap!
Did you know that Helen Keller had a twin?
Yeah, Helen ate her in the womb.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Covid.
Covid who?
The thing that killed half a billion people!
Little Johnny asks a fireman, "Do you want to see my fire truck?"
So the fireman goes to look at it. Little Johnny tested it. "I got my hat in my fire truck."
So the fireman says, "Last night's alright, but why is it tied up to you wagging?" And he looks closer and sees the string is tied up in knots. He said, "That's nice all right, but why is it tied up to his nuts?"
The little Johnny said, "Well that's my son," and so he yanks on it.
All the jokes on this website are terrarible.
These three men wanted to start a band. One had the idea to call them the Rolling Stones, one wanted to call them the Veggies, the other said, "Let's be the Cripples," as they all rolled away.
A young boy was talking to his friend about his family:
"My great-grandfather fought against Napoleon, my grandfather fought against the English, my father fought against the Americans, and my uncle against the Argentinians."
The friend replied: "It seems that your family can't get along with anybody!"
A young boy was talking to his friend about his family:
"My great-grandfather fought against Napoleon, my grandfather fought against the English, my father fought against the Americans, and my uncle against the Argentinians."
The friend replied: "It seems that your family can't get along with anybody!"
It is reported that when Churchill met Stalin at Yalta, they discussed their hobbies.
Churchill said: "I collect the jokes people tell me about me."
"That's a coincidence," said Stalin, "I collect the people who tell jokes about me."
What song do you think was playing at the school?
"Pumped Up Kicks"