The jokes
Why do midgets have to wear a green bright jacket when crossing the road?
Because they will get turned into a pancake even more.
It's not funny, I know.
What did the traffic light say to the other?
"Hey, stop looking at me! I'm changing!"
What did the blender say to the orange juice?
"What the fuck are you, you are so fucking stupid, shut the fuck up."
How do I get out of the toilet seat? Help me, please. I'm very stuck!
You: What do you call a door knob without the lock?
Me: I don't know.
You: Are you sure?
Me: I don't know.
You: Okay.
Why did the depressed kid cross the road?
To get hit by a car.
A couple were trying new things in the bedroom to spice up their marriage. The husband would blindfold the wife, put on a condom and she would guess the flavor. They did this one time a night.
The first night, she put the blindfold on and he put the condom on his dick and she tasted it, she immediately knew it was strawberry. The second night, the same thing happened except it was banana. The third night, she put the blindfold on and tasted his dick and said, "Eww it tastes like cheese and onions." The husband replied, "Hang on I haven't put the condom on yet."
If you argued that God was a woman, 49.8% of the US population would try and raise Hell.
Just to ask the other guy.
Talk about a male supremacist religion.
What's green and has wheels? Grass.
I was just lying about the wheels.
What's green and has wheels?
Grass, I was just lying about the wheels.
Why did I giggle?
Because I saw the ocean's bottom.
Did you hear about the cheetah who robbed a bank? He ran away so fast he almost got away with it, but he was spotted.
What did the blind man say to his dog after eating dinner?
"Just ate a tasty steak!"
Skeppy is the joke.
I had a dream that I was destroying the world, and I blew up my house for fun. I woke up and couldn't find my pillow... nor the house.
Why can orphans get away from the FBI?
Because they don't have a house.
My mom is in the FBI. My dad is in the FBI. My sister is in the FBI. My brother is in the FBI. And do you know what I am?
Divorced.
A guy stuffed some cigarettes up his eyes thinking it would make him see colors.
The next day, he could see only one color... black.
What are the similarities of an orphan and a water fountain?
They both sprout water.
Why can't orphans go on field trips?
They don't have anybody to sign the form.