The jokes
So, there's Fred and Frank. Now, they've been friends for years, but Fred, see, he's depressed. Badly.
Either way, so F+F are texting each other, and here's how it goes: (this is my first joke, so please don't judge too harshly)
Frank: Yo
Fred: Hi...
Frank: U heard about de competition?
Fred: Yeah...
Frank: You wanna hang out?
Fred: .......
Frank: What? I've got some noose (news) for you.
Fred: ...I(
Frank: Fine.... I guess we need to think of a plan, though. We don't wanna be hanging on the end.
Fred: *sigh* You know....you really can't rope me into this competition.
"I always like walking in the rain, so no one can see me crying."
- Charlie Chaplin
Uma Thurman in "Pulp Fiction" was very kind and possibly the sweetest character, unless you count her forehead as of now.
Q: How can you tell if a Western is gay?
A: All the good guys are hung.
Q: What did one gay cowboy say to the other gay cowboy?
A: Hayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple gets picked.
Mom says: "I will go kill myself."
Me: *stays quiet cuz knows better than to talk* *also me internally eyerolls*
Some time later me fighting with my mom:
Me to my mom: "Oh, yea than kill me!"
Mom: "What the hell did you just say? I don't want to hear it from you again!"
Lesson?
So it's OK for adults to say "I'll kill myself" but not teens/kids!?!?
My mom said don't fuck whores.
So I kicked my step sis out the house.
When the quiet kid lost a game of basketball and reaches into his bag,
other people in the gym: "Oh shit this nigga bout to shoot."
So NFL teams were playing football on me, and then Justin Jefferson hit something called "the gritty" on me.
So, I saw two homeless people on the road fighting. I said, "Stop fighting and go home." I guess it was a little insensitive.
Why does the orphan drink hot coco with water?
Because his dad never came back with the milk.
What's the worst thing that can happen to schools?
Quiet kids.
When the husband said "Is your ass so big?" she said "Because I am holding my shit."
A boy named Jimmy was riding to Hell to save his brothers and sister. That is the last place he pissed. There came across the Devil.
Part 1
When I shit in the toilet, I think that if I shit hard enough, I can see my asshole plug.
Your forehead is so big that it's visible on the world map!
Your forehead is so big they call you the Leaning Tower of Forehead!
Why did the priest go to the clothing sale at Walmart?
He heard that little boy's pants were half off.
Q: Why can't the orphan buy Robux?
A: He could not use his mother's credit card.