Thanksgiving Turkey jokes

What do you call the ghost of the Thanksgiving turkey? A Poultrygeist.

What's the difference between a Thanksgiving turkey and my kid?

I only stuff the turkey.

Well, tell her that Halloween is the best holiday because you can hide Easter eggs under the Christmas tree while eating a big Thanksgiving turkey.

Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning, and his dad was making a lot of mistakes. Suddenly, his dad screams "bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant, and his dad replied "aunts and uncles." Oh. Next thing he hears is "dicks and pussies!" Johnny asks, "What's that mean?" To which his dad replied, "Uh, coats and hats." Oh. Next thing he know, he sees his dad jumping around the bathroom yelling "fucking, fuck, fuck, FUCK!" "What does that mean, Dad?" And his dad yells, "Cut, Johnny, it means cut!!!!" Oh.

Next week is Thanksgiving, and the doorbell rings, and Johnny answers it and says, "Hey, bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, Dad's in the kitchen fucking the turkey."

Americans won't have a Thanksgiving Dinner this year. Why not? They sent their turkey to the White House.

If your left nut was Thanksgiving and your right nut was Christmas, then you wouldn't have any balls because they're holidays.

Why did the turkey cross the road twice?

To prove he wasn’t a chicken!

What did Donald Trump serve Justin Trudeau at the state dinner?

Poutine in traditional Russian dressing!