SOS jokes

Yo mama so stupid that, when she heard about cookies on the internet, she ate her computer.

Your mama is so stupid, when her phone died, she bared it, lol.

My son is so ungrateful. I bought him a trampoline and all he does is sit in his wheelchair and cry all day.

Last Halloween, I went dressed as a woman. When I rang the doorbell, an elderly woman opened it, and I made a grunting noise and knocked the bowl of candy out of her hands.

She immediately called the police and told them exactly what happened. The officer pulled me aside and asked me a few questions. First, he asked if my parents were here, and I said nothing. Concerned by my answer, he then asked if I was okay, so I said nothing. He asked me what my name was, and I responded, "Hellen Keller."

Your mama is so fat, when she stepped on a scale, it said "Damn!"

Yo mama so fat, when she sat on Walmart, the prices went down.

Your mama so fat, she filled up Minecraft's block limit! lol XD

Freshman: Hey, what's better, Ford or Chevy?

Senior: I don't f**kin' care as long as it drives.

Freshman: So, I'm guessing it's Chevy?

Yo mama so stupid, when her phone dies, she buries it.

It was so windy I saw a chicken lay the same egg twice!

The lady was so fat that when she stepped on the scale, the scale responded with, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"

So I was on Google, and on my computer it had Windows. When Stephen Hawking died, it shut down, the shutdown sound played, and wouldn't turn on again.

So you know how sheets are always so tight at hotels?

Well I looked under the bed and there is a freaking room cleaner holding the sheets. All he says is "Don't ask or you shall die!"

Yo mama is so fat, when she got on the scale it said, "One at a time, please."

Why is helium so expensive? It is due to inflation.

Some man was walking too slow, so I told him to Mufasa.

Yo mama so stupid, she thought Fruit Ninja was a gay weeaboo!

So, two condoms walk by a gay bar. What does one condom say to the other? "Hey, wanna get 'shit-faced?'"

So, we are in class right, and the teacher has a metal leg. Every year she gets the question of, "Do metal detectors beep every time you walk by them?" She heard this question to the point where she just says yes without hesitation.

Once she had said yes, two kids in the back started laughing.

Teacher: Ok alright, take it a little bit more seriously would you?

Kid: Oh, we're not laughing at that.

Kid_2: We're laughing at cancer.

Why did Stephen Hawking die?

Because his son wanted to charge their phone, so they unplugged him.