SOS jokes

So, a kid is taking a test, and the paper says, "In a pink bungalow, there's a pink fridge, a pink bed, a pink TV, and a pink cat. What color are the stairs?"

So the kid answers pink, like the idiot he is.

Why do orphans want to be communist?

So they would have a motherland.

My teachers told me I'd never amount to much because I procrastinate so much.

I told them, "Just you wait!"

So I stayed at home for Halloween when I suddenly hear a knock on my door. I open and I see Penandes! I was confused and asked him why he does not wear a costume, and he said he doesn't need to.

Then I realized that he's a ghost and gave him 3 candies. Enjoy the candies Pruno!

It's so sad that Stephen Hawking has a whole category on here about him and he can't stand up for himself.

How did the Germans conquer Poland so fast? They marched in backwards and the Polish people thought they were leaving.

My dad told me and my sister to stop arguing, so I threw her out the window instead.

So little Johnny was walking to the bathroom, and he said, "Grandma," said, "why is the blood coming out of your ###😥 I need to call help."

Your mum is so fat, I had to take 2 buses and a train to get to her good side.

So I had a friend who was an orphan, and he said, "How's your girlfriend?" I said, "I don't have one." He said, "I know, just reminding you." I then said, "Hey, how's your parents?" I never saw him after that.

You're so ugly that you and Adolfo Hitler are like twins.

You're so white that when I turn off the lights, you're a night light.

Your hairline is so long that Odell Beckham Jr. missed a catch and saw your hairline from a mile away!

Yo mama so fat, her belly button got 15 minutes before her.

Your forehead is so big you could land a plane on it.

Your forehead is so fucking big, I had to call an Uber to get across the eyebrows to your hairline.

I know it's bad, sorry.

Your forehead [is] so big that if I drew an H on it, Kobe could have landed there.

One afternoon, a man was walking to a bar after work. Across the street, an Irish nun stood there waving her arms at the man. "Look at this poor drunkard! The Lord does not love him! He will be sent to Hell!" the nun shouted.

The man walked over to the nun. "Hey! I had a hard day at work! I was going to get ONE beer! Have you ever even tried a drink before?" the man asked. The nun looked down and shook her head. "Well, if you tried it, you would probably like it! Would you want to try something?" the man asked. The nun replied, "Okay, only one thing."

"What would you like?" asked the man. He offered her beer and whiskey, but she declined. "How about a little gin?" the man concluded. "Okay, sure. But, can you ask them to put it in a mug so people don't see what I'm drinking?" asked the nun.

"Fine," the man walks into the bar and waves to the bartender. "Hey, can I have a bottle of beer and a bit of gin? Also, can that be in a mug?" asked the man. The bartender looked up, with fury in his eyes. "Don't tell me that damn nun is out there again!" the bartender said.

Your hairline is so far back your mom can't cut it.

Today a girl asked me how big my dick is, so I asked how big her pussy is, and she said, "Come over to my house and find out!"