What's pink and fluffy?
Pink fluff
Jack quietly crawled through Jill’s bedroom window, trying not to make a single noise. She sat on her bed, her back facing him. Jack tiptoed up behind her, laid his hands on her shoulders and said, in a rather sensual tone,
“Boo.”
“Jack!” She yelled, “what are you doing here?”
Jack sat down next to her and smiled.
“I figured today was a good day to maybe go up to the hill?” He said.
“That sounds fun,” said Jill.
“C’mon, let’s go!”
The kids climbed down from Jill’s second story window. The frolicked around in the fields, hair swaying in the wind, as they neared the nearby hill. Jack took Jill’s hand, and they skipped up to the very top of the hill. They sat down on the bright green grass and giggled.
“You ready?” Asked Jack
“Ready as I’ll ever be,” Jill replied with a wink.
Jack laid his hand on Jill’s chest, softly pushing her onto her back. He got down on his knees, and bent down to the bottom of her dress.
“I’ve waited a long time for this...” he whispered.
Jack slowly pulled up Jill’s dress with one hand, running the other up her thigh. His anticipation was building faster and faster. He looked her in the eyes as he slowly pulled down her panties. Once they were all the way off, he turned his head downward. His mouth opened, his eyes went wide. Jack was speechless. Before he could say anything, Jill slammed his head down, gagging him with her giant cock. She sat up as she slammed his head up and down. Jack began to feel dizzy as he gagged and coughed.
“Silly Jack, didn’t you know? I’m not Jill. I never was. My name’s Randy. You’re mine now, Jack. So sit back, enjoy the ride.” Said Randy.
Randy moved Jack’s head faster and faster as he threw his head back. It was coming, fast. All of a sudden, he stopped. Jack’s head stood still as his mouth became a fountain of white, drizzling all over Randy’s legs and onto the grass. Randy let go and Jack jumped back, spitting and trying to get it all out of his mouth. Just as the dizziness began to fade, Randy walked over. The last thing Jack saw was Randy’s fist hurtling towards him...
A hobo couple is making out under a bridge. The gf goes - Johnny, why your dick so soft? - Flip me over, I’m trying to shit!
This is how to die soft 101
yo bro you good ? you need a hug?
What goes in small and soft And comes out big and hard A tea bag
Don't Touch My Truck-By: Breland and Sam Hunt
You can drink my liquor You can call my lady You can take my money You can smoke my blunt Scuff these Jordans You can say you hate me You can call me crazy, but Don't touch my truck (skrrt, skrrt) Skrrt (yeah, yeah) Skrrt Don't touch my truck (brrp, yeah) Skrrt (woo-oh) Skrrt Don't touch my V8 engine with the windows tinted Boy, we came from the bottom, got it out the mud Whole block jumpin' 'cause the subs stay hittin' If they roll up on me, know I keep one tucked (ooh, yeah) Woo Tell them boys come and get me I be ridin' through the city Young, rich and I'm pretty Homie, don't get it twisted Keep a semi in the hemi (oh) Red cup full of Henny My hitters come in plenties, for real You can drink my liquor You can call my lady You can take my money You can smoke my blunt Scuff these Jordans You can say you hate me You can call me crazy, but Don't touch my truck (skrrt, skrrt) Skrrt (yeah, yeah) Skrrt Don't touch my truck (brrp, yeah) Skrrt (woo-oh) Skrrt Don't touch my Wood grain dash with the matte black finish And it match my shawty with the big ol' butt Know them boys soft 'cause they got hard feelings You can try me if you wanna go and test your luck (woo) Tell them boys come and get me (get me) I be ridin' through the city Young, rich and I'm pretty (yeah) Homie, don't get it twisted (yeah) Keep a semi in the hemi (in the hemi) Red cup full of Henny (yeah, we drinking) My hitters come in plenties, for real You can drink my liquor You can call my lady You can take my money You can smoke my blunt Scuff these Jordans You can say you hate me You can call me crazy, but Don't touch my truck Skrrt Skrrt Don't touch my truck Skrrt Skrrt Don't touch my Woo, ooh, woo, ooh, woo, ooh Don't touch my truck (woo, ooh) Don't touch my truck
For boys Life is a lot like a penis simple, soft, straight, relaxed and hanging freely......... then a woman makes it really hard😩😉😏
A female class teacher was having a problem with a boy in her class in Grade 3.... The boy said, "Madam, I should be in Grade 4. I am smarter than my sister & she's in Grade 4".
The Madam had heard enough and took the boy to the principal.The principal decided to test the boy with some questions from Grade 4.
*Principal:* What is 3+3?
*Boy:* 6.
*Principal:* 6+6.
*Boy:* 12.
The boy got all the questions right. The principal told the Madam to send the boy to Grade 4 immediately. The Madam decided to ask her own questions and the principal agreed.
*Madam:* What does a cow have 4 of that I have only 2?
*Boy:* Legs.
*Madam:* What is in your trousers that I don't have?
*Boy:* Pockets.
*Madam:* What starts with a C and ends with T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid?
*Boy:* Coconut.
*Madam:* What goes in hard & then comes out soft & sticky?
The principal's eyes opened really wide, but before he could stop the answer, the boy was taking charge
*Boy:* Bubble gum.
*Madam:* You stick your pole inside me. You tie me down to get me up, I get wet before you do.
*Boy:* Tent.
*The principal was looking restless*
*Madam:* A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you are bored. The best man always has me first?.
*Boy:* Wedding ring.
*Madam:* I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I Drip. When you blow me, you feel good?
*Boy:* Nose.
*Madam:* I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates, I come with a quiver.
*Boy:* Arrow.
*Principal:* O MY GOD.
*Madam:* What starts with 'F' and ends wit a 'K' and if you don't get it, you've to use your hand?
*Boy:* Fork.
*Madam:* What is it that all men have, it's longer in some men than others, the Pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife after marriage?
*Boy:* Surname.
*Principal:* Ohooo !
*Madam:* What part of the man has no bone but has muscles with a lot of veins like pumpkin and is responsible for making love?
*Boy:* Heart.
*Principal:* Eeeeeh! The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the Madam, "Send this bloody boy to the university. I myself got all the answers wrong!"
What did Mickey mouse, and Michael Jackson have in common? : (What don't they have in common) Same red shorts, theme park in their backyard, white glove, soft voices, loved children, they both were black with white faces,
What is your body like? Soft
Life is a or like a penis. Long, free, flowimg, and soft, until a woman comes and makes it hard.😉
I was staying over at my friends, for the purpose of the joke he shall be called kian. It was 03.00 am and everyone else was asleep when i heard a soft banging on the wall. I left the room to inspect it, Kian lived with his grandad John Hauge it was thought he had a huge slong. The banging was getting louder and so to was my heartbeat, i opened John's door and ventured into the room. John was fully naked, there was a glory hole threw the wall where i could make it kians ass. This is what i have been waiting for. I rip off my shorts which Ali G bought for me, and silently moved towards john. I shoved 1 inch wonder in his ear. John furiously turned around and slapped me with his cock, "you little gimp get on the bed". Kian came in the room with a 2 litre bottle of irn bru, he demanded "what the fudge are you doing". I replied smoothly "Kian you tracksuit warrior you have a camel toe" Kian fires back "shut it paul you have genital warts". John screams "SHUT THE FUCK UP." He then gives us it so rough i can't walk the next day, but feel pleasured for eternity.
By Lewis
What did the icicle say to the snow? "Why do you have to be so soft?"
A guy sits at a bar in a skyscraper restaurant high above the city. He slams a shot of tequila, goes over to the window and jumps out.
The guy sitting next to him can’t believe what he just saw. He’s more surprised when, 10 minutes later, the same guy walks back into the bar and sits down next to him.
The astonished onlooker asks, “How did you do that? I just saw you jump out the window, and we’re hundreds of feet above the ground!”
The jumper responds by slurring, “Well, I don’t get it either. I slam a shot of tequila, and when I jump out the window, the tequila makes me slow down right before I hit the ground. Watch.” He takes a shot, goes to the window and jumps out.
The other guy runs to the window and watches as the guy falls to just above the sidewalk, slows down and lands softly on his feet. A few minutes later, the jumper walks back into the bar.
The other guy has to try it, too, so he orders a shot of tequila. He slams it and jumps out the window. As he reaches the bottom, he doesn’t slow down at all. SPLAT!
The first guy orders another shot of tequila. The bartender shakes his head. “You’re really an a**hole when you’re drunk, Superman.”
What goes in soft and comes out hard?
Gum you whore.
I got hit in the head with a can of soda yesterday. Luckily for me, it was a soft drink.
DId you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a sode can? He was lucky it was a soft drink
