Slurp jokes

I will never forget my girlfriend's last words... "Get off of me! STOP!" *slurp*... Dead.

How do you fit 1000 babies in a swimming pool?

A blender.

How do you get them out? Slurp them up with a straw.

Drinking coffee when you're anxious is about as effective as using gasoline to put out a fire, but slurp slurp guess who's an anxious bitch who never learns.

While an unsuspecting father's at the office making money, this 18 year old son will spend his day in mother's cunny.

We're at the breakfast table, father eats and takes his calls, he doesn't know my mother's toes are kneading at my balls.

A slag is like the first piece of bread in a loaf. Everyone touches it, but nobody wants it.

For some reason, when my mom eats hot dogs, she likes to lick and suck on it first. As a son, can anyone tell me why?

So, I took a poop outside. When I was done, I wiped and got it on my finger. After that, I had Nutella, and I thought the poop on my hand was Nutella, and I licked it. I said, "Daddy chill, what in the heck is this crap?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"