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Cheese

Donald Trump wants to ban the sale of pre-shredded cheese.

He wants to make America grate again.

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    Bomb

    Three guys are on a plane: one is Asian, one is Mexican, and the other is an American. The pilot says, "There is too much weight on the plane, you all need to throw something off." So the Mexican threw out a burrito and said, "I have plenty of these where I come from." Then the Asian threw out some rice and said, "I have plenty of these in my country." The American threw out a bomb and said, "I have a lot of these in my country."

    The plane crashes anyway, and the three men start to walk away from the crash. As they were walking, they found a boy crying. They asked him what was wrong, and he said, "A ton of burritos fell out of the sky and got me all messy." The men started walking away and soon enough they found another boy crying. They asked him what was wrong, and he said, "A ton of rice fell out of the sky and shredded all my clothes." The guys knew who did it but avoided the trouble. They kept on walking and found a kid laughing so hard he was on the ground, and they asked what had been so funny. The boy said, "MY GRANDPA FARTED AND THE HOUSE BLEW UP!!!"

    Santa

    Santa decided coal was too expensive, so he started putting shredded lettuce and mayo in naughty kid's lockers... he calls it the coal's law.

    Killer

    One day I was walking along the street and I found some caution tape... Just sitting there torn up... Beat up, and you could barely unravel it anymore because I would just burst into shreds... It kinda reminded me of what happened to my sister's killer... They still haven’t found him yet... I’m really good at hide and seek!

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    Community

    Pretty crazy to watch the American government collapsing in real time like this.

    I wish the internet existed the way it did in the early 2000s during the Soviet union. I'd love to read message boards describing what people thought 5-10 years before the whole thing broke down.

    And then the aftermath of people picking at the corpse and becoming absurdly wealthy after scooping up those state assets.

    Republicans have … Read more

    Are you gonna let me in? Hello? Hello?" 2:45 and the bell went off, thank God Many people think I'm odd But I talk with no one and I walk alone And I avoid sunlight with a chalky tone I get home and I don't say hi, it ain't no one there I don't care, I walk in and go right up the stairs To my room, get in bed, and just wait for dark Because that's when the real show starts Tap, tap on the glass go the piece of ass So… Read more

    Cheesy Joke Of The Day: Why did the shredded cheddar cheese get mad when the teacher gave him an F on the test? He felt he had been unfairly grated.

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