A Sunday school teacher asked her children on the way to service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."
Me: Mom, if Adam and Eve are white, then how were slaves made?
Mom: Well, Eve and the monkey fucked each other.
Me: Oh, okay.
Goes to school.
Teacher: How were humans made?
Me: Eve fucked the monkeys.
Teacher: π
Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprimand the child. Smiling sweetly, the Sunday school teacher said, βJohnny, when I was a little girl, I was told if that I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that.β Little Johnny looked up and replied, βWell, Ms Smith, you canβt say you werenβt warned.β
School teacher: "Hey kid, why don't you just go home to your family?"
Orphan: "My family never came back for me."
School teacher: "Your daddy must've really needed that milk."
The Sunday school teacher is a little concerned that his kids might be a little confused about Jesus, so he asks his class, βWhere is Jesus today?β
Little Suzy replies, βHeβs in heaven.β
Little Mary replies, βHeβs in my heart.β
Little Johnny says, βHeβs in the bathroom!β
The teacher says, βHow do you know this?β
Then little Johnny says, βWell, every morning my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door, and yells, βJesus Christ are you still in there!?ββ
In the morning at 6:30 AM,
Teacher: Who fought in World War I?
Me: Trump & Biden.
Teacher: Oh ok... well good job class, see you tomorrow and study your books.
After school,
Teacher: Oh God those kids know nothing.
"She looks at her clock."
Teacher: And now I am sewed.
There were four people in a helicopter: Trump, a first-grade kid, a schoolteacher, and the Chinese leader.
There were only three parachutes. The Chinese leader takes one and jumps. The schoolteacher says she has to teach, so she jumps. Trump and the first-grader are left. Trump says, "I've lived my life; you take the last one." So the kid puts on his backpack and jumps. Trump makes it out safe.
Kid starts shortcoming people in school, teacher asks βwhy are you doing thatβ. He responds, βI wanted to paint the walls red for Christmasβ