School shootings jokes

If a school shooter walks into a classroom and shoots an autistic kid, what does the kid say? "Why do I look like Swiss cheese?"

What do Call of Duty players say when they shoot up a school?

654-721-8940

(If you understand the joke, you're a god.)

A man asks a woman, "Are you a school?"

The woman replies, "No, why?"

The man says, "Oh, I wanted to shoot my kid inside of you."

Teachers at a school shooting be like: damn it. That's the third one this week and it's only Monday.

So I was at a class at school, and then boom, explosion. Lots of dead.

I shoot at the people too, haha, goodbye class. Scary.

Want to know why parents don't get school shooting jokes?

Because they are aimed at a younger audience.

What do you call an autistic kid in a school shooting?

Target practice.

Did you hear about the school shooting joke? Well, I won't tell you it's aimed at a younger audience.

If a homeschooled kid shoots his parents, does that count as a school shooting?

POV there’s a school shooting.

American: First time, European?

European: Yeah, you American?

American: No, not my first time.

*School shooting happens.*

Foreign exchange student: *Sobbing under desk.*

American student: "First time?"

Foreign exchange student: "Yeah, you?"

American student: "Hahaha. No, not my first time."

Why did the Royal Wedding get more publicity than the SantaFe school shooting?

'Cause Royal Weddings don't happen every week.

Roses are red, I reload fast...

I'm gonna pull up to your school, bitch you better run fast!

I went to my local shooting range today but was surprised when I saw on the news that there was a school shooting in my shooting range. I don't know who snitched...

Are you a school? 'Cause I wanna shoot kids in you.

Why do I have to go to a shooting range when I can go to school and do it for free?

When you lose a game of Kahoot, so you kashoot up the school.

Btw friend here also wants to do suicide.

Friend: Why did I cross the road? Me: To get to the other side. Friend: True!

Friend: Hey let's go hang out at the forest today! Me: Ok *grabs ropes for the both of us and rushes outside bc this is a lucky day* Friend: Hey at least we did it!

Friend: What's the best thing about me? Me: You will eventually end. Friend: Hmmmmmm . . . true!

Friend: What historical time influenced you the most? Me: The great depression.

If I could be an object I'd be glass because I'm see-through and I can shatter with the minimum difficulty immediately!

My parents sometimes say I'm their sunshine! . . . because I'm painful if you look at me.

Teacher: What does km/s mean? Me+like almost all of the class: *in unison* It means kill myself but misspelled.

Friend: What's the best way to end a game? Me: With death. Friend: . . . Hmmm now that you think about it yeah! That's the best way!

When you're about to jump down a cliff but you realize that you can't litter there.

Google says that you're about 75% water but I'm made of 101% depression 101% anxiety 101% suicidal 101% stress.

Brain be like will_to_live.exe, happiness.exe, and many more others not found also you have now got crippling_depression.exe, anxiety.exe, suicide_thoughts.exe, suicide_attempts, and stressful_life.exe so so so much many more.

How do you keep weeds away? Just put a bucket of crippling depression and suicidal thought and attempts in the soil and then they just kill themselves. Problem solved.

When you take antidepressants but they don't work it will just make you more depressed and that's a fact.

A bored depressed suicidal person: *sees a dying person* Dying person: P-l-pls c-c-c-call m-me a-an amb-b-bulancccee *wheeze* *dies* Bored depressed suicidal person: Hmmmm ur an ambulance Dying person: *manages to get back up* Bored depressed suicidal person: Oooooohh goddddd Dying person: *in a demonic tone* BUT NOT FOR ME~

Roses are red, Inside I'm dead, I have crippling depression, Some one pls shoot my head.

When you finally open up to a person who you think will care and understand but it turns out that they don't. You: *panickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanicking*

The only time you should lift your spirits up is when your gonna hang yourself.

A made-up story starting now. So I went to school as usual. There's a school shooting. All the depressed suicidal people: *crave death* *walks up to shooter* all say KILL ME A made-up story starting ending.

In this one the friend isn't suicidal. Friend: Wanna play a game? Me: Life wait no a game has a meaning. Friend: . . . *crickets* Friend: Calls suicide hotline. Me: Wait no!!!!!

Me: *has crippling depression* *asks mom why I was born* Mom: Hmmm I think I was drunk and on a lotta drugs. Me: Hmmm tysm *gets the rope* Mom: *making hanging puns* Me: *hurries to the trash truck*

Me: At this point I've lived about a decade depressed and suicidal that I don't struggle with it now, I'm good at it and it's all normal.

Hope you enjoyed.

School shooting: Happens.

Foreign Exchange Student: Starts sobbing under desk.

American Student: "First time?"

My friend was a victim of a school shooting once, but he couldn't tell if they were in the library because of the suppressor on his AR.