Phew jokes

Cancer

A woman comes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, I think I have cancer." The doctor checks it out. "It’s all in your head," the doctor says. "Phew," said the woman. "A bunch of tumors, all in your head."

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  • Man

    Old man goes to the doctor.

    The doctor says, "The test results are back, and I'm sad to say you have cancer and Alzheimer's."

    The old man says, "Phew! At least it's not cancer!"

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  • Muffin

    Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says, "Phew, it's hot in here." The other muffin says, "OMG, a talking muffin!"

    Muffin

    There are two muffins baking in the oven. One muffin says to the other, “Phew, is it getting hot in here or is it just me?”

    The other muffin says, “AAAAHHH!! A TALKING MUFFIN!”

    Hen

    What did the swearing hen say?

    "Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK!" (It's cluck.)

    What did the cussing rooster say?

    "Cock-a-doodle-doo, phew!"

    Egg

    Farmer: Phew! I got all the eggs from the chickens!

    Farmer #2: EGGcellent!