Old man goes to the doctor. The doctor says "The test results are back, and I'm sad to say you have cancer and Alzheimer's.". The old man says "Phew! At least it's not cancer!"
A woman comes to the doctors an says ‘doctor, I think I have cancer’ the doctor checks it out ‘it’s all in your head’ the doctor says ‘phew’ said the woman, ‘a bunch of tumors, all in your head’
There are two muffins baking in the oven. One muffin says to the other, “Phew, is it getting hot in here or is it just me?” The other muffin says, “AAAAHHH!! A TALKING MUFFIN!”
What did the swearing hen say?
Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK! (It's cluck)
What did the cussing rooster say?
Cock-a-poo-dle phew!
Farmer: Phew! I got all the eggs from the chickens! Farmer #2: EGGcellent!
