Pete jokes

When Ariana Grande broke up with Pete, she said, "I have one less problem without you."

"Hi, this is Pete's pizzeria and abortion clinic, where yesterday's loss is today's sauce."

If Pete and Chasten Buttigieg had a baby, it would be a turd covered in semen.

The next time you get a sack call, pick up the phone and say, "Welcome to Pete's pizzeria and abortion clinic. Your loss is next week's sauce. How may we help you?"

Pete the panther was racing a cheetah but lost. The cheetah said, "You can’t beat me, I’m a cheetah." Pete said, "Yeah, you are a cheetah cheetah."

If Pete and Chasten Buttigieg had a baby together, it would be a turd covered in semen.

Pete: Knock, knock...

Paul: Who's there?

Pete: Boo...

Paul: Boo who?

Pete: Don't cry, it was only a joke!

Paul: I'm going to cry! It was such a bad joke!!!

Ça sent quoi un pète de clown? (Ça sent drôle!)

One man's pet is another man's dinner.

Don't worry if you think your life sucks. Just remember that people are arguing over the gender of a potato head.

Am I the only one who gives people in the neighborhood names they don't know they have? Like "Blue truck dude", "Loud dog guy", "Nice old lady with the rose bushes", "That slut across the street."

Like if your best friend has a dog.

Slavery and discipline, it's kind of the same thing. You get whipped for doing the wrong thing.