If you scanned my thigh it would show up as a package of Oreos on the screen
One day the mailman came to drop the mail off, then he asked if I could use the bathroom. I said yeah. The thing is, my mom was coming out of the shower naked, and when she opened the door, it was me and the mailman.
Now, when the mailman sees me, he says to me, "We got something in common, we both saw your mom naked."
My mom told me to make my dad smile, and she will give me $100, so I said, "The Cowboys are gonna win the Super Bowl." He smiled, but my mom didn't give it to me.
Anyways, I forgot about my package coming, and the mailman came, and I said, "I like your hat; teal looks nice on you," and he smiled, and my mom gave me $100.
Two gays are getting ready for Christmas... They are expecting a big package in the mail!
a man bought steroids from Amazon.com... he was expecting a big package to cum!!!
A: Knock knock.
B: Who's there?
A: Package from Ted Kaczynski.
B: Package from Te-?
A: BOOM!
I gave my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday
I like my boo like I like my packages straight out of the box
I get more care packages than Africa.
What's a pedophile's favorite holiday?
Halloween. Free delivery!
