Ontology jokes

It's funny how Stephen Hawking sounds like Stephen walking or Stephen talking, but he can't do any of those things.

In 2011, Stephen Hawking said there is no God. In 2018, God said there is no Steve Hawking.

English is weird. It can be understood through tough, thorough thought, though.

What has 4 wheels, 2 legs, and loves his shoulder?

Stephen Hawking.

Mom, how were hoomans made? Son, it’s because Adam and Eve were brought down by God and made babies!

Dad, how were hoomans made? Son, us humans evolved from monkeys!

Mom, Dad said hoomans were evolved from monkeys, is that true? Oh son, (ruffles smol man’s hair) your dad was telling you his side of the family, and I was telling my side :)