Oneself jokes

Do y'all know the saying "Hang in there?" Well, fuck that, because I might as well be hanging myself.

A week before Christmas my wife left me. She said I was too selfish and full of myself and she could not take it anymore.

On Christmas Eve, Santa asked me what I wanted for Christmas and I said, "All I want is the one I love more than anyone else in the world."

On Christmas morning I woke up in a box under my Christmas tree.

what's the difference between hitler and you?

one didn't keep posting on twitter about killing themselves.