Oneself jokes
what's the difference between hitler and you?
one didn't keep posting on twitter about killing themselves.
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Do y'all know the saying "Hang in there?" Well, fuck that, because I might as well be hanging myself.
A week before Christmas my wife left me. She said I was too selfish and full of myself and she could not take it anymore.
On Christmas Eve, Santa asked me what I wanted for Christmas and I said, "All I want is the one I love more than anyone else in the world."
On Christmas morning I woke up in a box under my Christmas tree.
Slavery and discipline, it's kind of the same thing. You get whipped for doing the wrong thing.
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you.
My friend asked me to describe myself in 3 words...
"Lazy."
Myself.
Nobody: Aww, that's so sad!
Me: Just like me.