No jokes
What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common?
No ballroom.
What do a small pair of underpants and a small dance room have in common?
No ballroom.
I was at a train station and a woman ran up to me and asked, "Is this train running on time?" I said, "No, it runs on steam and coal."
Life is like a penis: women make it hard for no reason.
Me: *reading a sign* "Children are a gift from god."
Me: "No, they are a gift from the underworld."
Mother: "Yeah, I picked you up at the gift shop on my way out."
Mother: "You are a spawn of Satan."
What's only book rapeboat ever read? Rhyming dictionary, he got no rhymes without it.
Nasruddin Hodja was tilling his patch of land when a hunter came riding up.
“Hey, you!" said the man. “Did you see a boar run past?"
“Yes," replied Hodja.
“Which way did it go?" demanded the man.
Hodja pointed in the direction in which the boar had gone.
The man rode away without a word of thanks, but he was back within minutes.
“No sign of it!" he said. “Are you sure it went that way?"
“I am certain," replied Hodja. “It went that way. Two years ago."
You also have to learn to say no. For example: “Would you like a piece of cake?” - “No, I would like two.”
"BlessedBrian must be a bank loan... because he has NO INTEREST."
Quote from Seth no.1: "I would have fought back, but she was seven."
What's the difference between Elton John and rapboat?
Elton is talented, rich, and openly gay. Rapboat got fuck all talent, no money, and is not out of the closet yet.
What does the suicidal person say on New Years?
"New year, no me."
W-what does, I mean uh, what is, um-, wh-what’s the difference, no... I mean- I mean what do you call a, um... sorry guys, i-i can’t do this. 😥🥺
*runs away in tears*
Person: Did you hear about the black chick on the front of the bus?
Friend: No?
Person: Exactly.
Bill Clinton is no longer playing the saxophone.
He is now playing the whore-monica.
My wife hates that I have no sense of direction.
So I packed up my stuff and went right.
We used to have Reagan, Jonny Cash, and Bob Hope. Now we have Biden, no cash, and no hope.
Michael Jackson and Kelly Clarkson both did shady stuff to children. Michael Jackson said that there is nothing wrong with sharing a bed with unrelated small children. Kelly Clarkson said that there is nothing wrong with physically beating a small child.
The thing is, though, only one of them made "Billie Jean" or "Beat It", and the other is just a typical karaoke country singer. So no surprise people gave Wacko Jacko a pass.
Who gets more dick, straight male rap fans or straight male swifties? Answer: Straight male rap fans, because there’s no such thing as a straight male swiftie.
In 2011, Stephen Hawking said there is no God. In 2018, God said there is no Steve Hawking.