No jokes

A man was almost about to drown. A boat said, "Do you need help?" And he said no.

After the boat left, another boat came to the sea, and they asked if he needed help, and he said no.

And he asked God, "Why didn't you help me?"

God said, "I sent you two big boats, you dummy!"

A father of five puts on a gas mask and a hazard suit and walks outside, but before he could make it, his son came and asked, "Dad, what are you wearing?"

The father answered with, "A costume for Halloween."

The child asked, "Can I join?" He said no, for he said it's their last Halloween. After that, I saw green smoke all over the same house they lived in.

I tried to tell an orphan a knock-knock joke, but sadly, there was no door to knock on.

  • 3
  • Dang... if I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put D IN U ;)

    I only know there are 25 letters in the alphabet, I don't know Y.

    (Me: How many letters are in the alphabet?) -- (Friend: 11- T-H-E-- A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T)

    (Me: There are 20 letters in the alphabet, right?) -- (Crush: No, there is actually 26.) -- (Me: oooOoh, I forgot u r a qt! So its acdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz?) -- (Crush: You forgot the D) -- (Me: That's not needed yet ;])

    What letter is really hot? T

    C = cOCK O = CoCK C = COcK K = COCk COCK = cock cock = COCK

    ME SExUAL SRrY LoL

    Why can orphans get away with robbing the bank?

    Because no one wants him.

    She said you can twerk, so I put her in a tractor and put her to work. She got mad at me and said, "There's no good men," but I gave her a kob and equal pay!

    What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

    What do you call a dog with no legs? No point in calling, he won't come anyway :(

    Little Jonny just came back from quarantine with his girlfriend, Sally.

    They both said they had to go to the bathroom. When they came back, Sally was coughing up a storm. The teacher said, "You need to be quarantined again."

    "No," Sally said, "I was just in the bathroom choking on something that grown-ups, especially women, like." Then the teacher faints.

    Boyfriend: "Babe, are you traffic police?"

    Girlfriend: "No."

    Boyfriend: "Then why do you shout at me for not wearing a helmet?"

    Do not ever make fun of people who look like they have no necks. They are fully protected from vampires.