No jokes
What did the father name his daughter with no legs?
Peggy.
Doctor: You'll be at peace soon, sir.
Me: What? Am I dying?
Doctor: No, your wife is.
Student: A plane is carrying 204 bricks, one falls out, how many are left?
Teacher: 203
Student: How do you put an elephant in the fridge?
Teacher: You can't.
Student: Yes, you can. Open the fridge door, put the elephant in.
How do you put a giraffe in the fridge?
Teacher: Open the door, put in the giraffe?
Student: No, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe.
The Lion King is having a party, who isn't there?
Teacher: Let me guess, the lion.
Student: No, the giraffe, he's stuck in a fridge.
Sally has to cross a river full of vicious alligators to get to safety, she gets across safely how?
Teacher: She stepped on the alligators?
Student: No, the alligators are at the party.
Sally dies anyway, how?
Teacher: She frowned?
Student: No, she was hit in the head by a falling brick.
Why can't orphans be gay?
They have no one to call "daddy".
Dad: No, Timmy, you don't have to worry, there is no monster sleeping under your bed, it sleeps every night in the bed next to me.
What's the similarities between Spiderman and a homeless person?
They both have no way home!
I know a good airplane joke, but it would probably go over your heads.
The twin towers: No, it won't.
Why did Dad say no to the pool? Because he can't swim.
Once i was walking along the beach and there was a girl with no arms or legs there, i walked by and she said excuse me, will you touch me ive never been touched before, i was like okay so i touched her, i kept on walking along and there was the same girl, she said sir will you kiss me, i went alright so i went up and kissed her, i thought that was weird but anyway i kept walking along and there she was again, she said sir will you fuck me? I went okay so i picked her up and threw her in the ocean and went YOUR FUCKED NOW
Why do orphans not care about sleep? Because they have no one to wake up to.
Why is Harry Potter an orphan's favorite character?
Because Harry Potter has no parents, so it’s relatable.
POV there’s a school shooting.
American: First time, European?
European: Yeah, you American?
American: No, not my first time.
What did the bomber say to the jet?
"Sorry bro, I gotta bomb."
*WAIT NO-*
No one will fight me, who is brave and strong enough to beat this beta simp femboy?
What is an orphan's favorite naval film?
"Spider-Man: No Way Home."
The best part about having autism is being able to make jokes about genociding autistic people and no one can say a damn thing.
Why do emos hang themselves? Because no one wants to hang around them.
My Wife: How much do you love me??
Me: Count all the stars.
My Wife: Aww, infinity.
Me: No, a waste of time.
The "f" in orphan stands for family.
Except there is no "f."
I was walking down the streets of Manchester when suddenly I saw Penaldo getting arrested! I heard the officer say, “This time I give you warning, there will be no penalty.”
That’s when Penaldo asked, “No penalty?!” and punched the police officer.
Shame on you Penaldo!