Night Stand Jokes

"Monica Lewinsky has gone down on Bill Clinton several times. What's stopping her from having a one-night stand with Donald Trump?"

"Trump is nothing more than a little pussy, don't ya know?"

There was a man. He came home with his friends from the bar and man was he ever wasted! Their friends made sure to get him home safely. The next morning, he woke up and found blood all over his nightstand. He called his friends and asked for his alarm clock back.

What does the cannibal get after a one night stand?

Breakfast in bed!

When that one night stand says she has AIDS but you laugh, "I choose D!"

She says...wait what?? I have all of the above! XD

What does a carpenter do after a one night stand?

The second nightstand.

What does a robot do at the end of a one night stand? -- He nuts and bolts.

Whenever I have a one night stand, I always use protection.

A fake name and a fake phone number.