Natural disasters jokes
Why are women like hurricanes?
They come in nasty and wet, then leave with your house and car.
What do women, tornadoes, and hurricanes have in common? They all get the house.
Your hairline is so long, people call it "The Natural Disaster!"
A man dies and goes to Heaven. He sees a bunch of clocks and asks Jesus what they are for. He replied they are gauges, and that they move when people lie. He said that Mother Teresa's has moved twice, Abraham Lincoln's once, and George Washington's never.
The man asks to see the current president's, and Jesus just laughs and says that Joe Biden's is the one keeping the hurricanes to speed.
FEMA during a natural disaster is kinda like me during sex. Slow to respond and not a lot of satisfying results.
How does the earth rate its sex?
Earthquake, Cataclysm, Volcano explosion, Earth's core explodes.
If the earth's core explodes, then he got tore up!
Covid 19 stopped mass shootings faster than the Government.
Me traveling back in time to tell Americans there will be a big tsunami on 9/11/2001, and to survive it they have to climb the two tallest buildings in New York.
I googled "How to start a wildfire." I got 48,500 matches.
"the floor is lava!"
- everyone, Pompeii 79 A.D.
NASA found water on Mars.
Mars - 1
Africa - 0