Misunderstood jokes

I recently got kicked out of a casino because I apparently misunderstood what the craps table was for.

I congratulated my friend on losing all that baby weight. She started crying and told me I should make them for miscarriage like that......

I drew a picture of a whale in the ocean. My brother asked, "What are you drawing?" I said, "You taking a shower."

Stephen Hawking died because his wife misunderstood him when he said, "My Windows Needs Updating." She had the double glazing removed, and he fell out and died.