Mickey and Minnie are getting a divorce. The divorce lawyer says to Mickey: "Mickey, you can't divorce Minnie because she is crazy," to which Mickey responds: "I'm not divorcing her because she's crazy, I'm divorcing her because she's f**king Goofy."
Mickey Mouse is speaking with a divorce attorney...
...and the attorney says, "I'm sorry Mickey, I've gone over all of Minnie's medical history and I find no evidence of mental illness."
To which Mickey replies, "I didn't say she's crazy! I said she's fucking Goofy!"
What do Civil War veterans and pedophiles have in common?
They both prefer Minnie (mini) balls.
What did Mickey Mouse say to Minnie Mouse: "I don't use condoms; I use my drawbridge."
What does Mickey's wife drive?
A Minnie-Van!
What's the difference between a humorous bully and a small van driver?
One takes the Mickey, the other takes the Minnie.
