Mid

Mid jokes

Penaldo

Official Dj Penaldo playlist.

1. "I'm a fraud" 2. "I need you (ft. Tap-ins)" 3. "I Want to Leave Mid United" 4. "Back where I belong (ft. Europa league)" 5. "TY Eder" 6. "Nobody wants me (Rejectnaldo Remix)" 7. "Fuck that kid (ft. Lil Broke phone)" 8. "Sewy (Benched +arms crossed version)"

Year

Q: Why was the 4 year old anti-vaxer crying?

A: He was in a mid-life crisis.

String

So, there are these 3 strings, they walk into a bar. People are giving them looks. The small chap is your typical thin cord. He walks to the barman and asks for a rum and coke. He replies, "Oii, your kind ain't welcomed here, so take your drink, mates, and fuck off."

He goes back to his mates and says, "We'd better get outta here." "Nonsense," replies the mid guy, he's your typical string. Goes to the barman and same story. Finally the last guy, he's your typical rope. He burst out, "Fuck this!" He twits and ties himself whilst messing up his hair. He struts up to the barman and asks for a rum and coke. The barman does so and whilst he prepares the drink, he opens with, "Say, aren't you a string?" "No, I'm a frayed knot."

Memes

Baby

My mom asked my doctor, "Why is my unvaccinated baby crying?"

The doctor replied, "He's going through a midlife crisis."

Baby

Why was the Ethiopian baby crying?

It was having a mid-life crisis.

Parachute

Why did the skydiver bring a backup parachute?

In case the first one wanted to "cut ties" with them mid-air.

Pee

When I'm peeing in a toilet I don't pee directly into the water. I pee on the curved part of the bowl beside the water because I figure it splashes less, but when you're peeing that close to the edge, the sporadic tiny offshoots of pee become a greater threat.

I'm not sure if the accumulation of these offshoots is greater than the potential splashback from peeing mid-bowl. It's possible that I'm thinking about this too much, but it's also possible that I'm not thinking about this enough.

Mama

Yo mama so far that when she walks outside at 8 a.m., it becomes midnight all over again.

Idol

I was about to go to sleep, but then I remembered my idol has 0 G/A, and it's mid-November. Thanks, Pessi, for ruining my sleep! 🤬

Music

I was listening to some Drake in class.

My teacher shouted to turn it off. She then exclaimed that "Drake is mid and his music is very Pessi!" I didn’t understand the meaning until I checked the dictionary and realised it is a synonym for overrated.

Skydiving

My son always said he wanted to skydive, so we went on a plane, and mid-flight, we had to jump out. The only issue is we were on a commercial flight to Arizona.

Memes

Community

www.Stand ready for my arrival, Worm. You were given orders, you were given time. You were given more leeway than most, and yet I find this planet unprepared for the arrival of our Viltrum Empire. The Empire anticipated your resistance, which is why they sent me. I am Conquest, and I am your last chance to fulfill your duty. [Mid-Fight] The truth is... I want you to resist. I'm not here to save you. I'm not here to s… Read more

Stand ready for my arrival, Worm. You were given orders, you were given time. You were given more leeway than most, and yet I find this planet unprepared for the arrival of our Viltrum Empire. The Empire anticipated your resistance, which is why they sent me. I am Conquest, and I am your last chance to fulfill your duty.

[Mid-Fight]

The truth is... I want you to resist. I'm not here to save you. I'm not here to spr… Read more

Poll

Did i make the right decision?

i had my edgenuity assignment open and it would lock my answers even if i wasn't done and my math teacher told me to not be on my computer so i listen and i worked on the notes with the class mid way through them he tells me to put my computer away and it's already almost dead so i tell him i'm working and i don't got to since my assignments open so he forces my computer shut and sends me to the office but i didn't go and finished my assignment so yeah now i'm in ISS (In School Suspension).