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Meme

36 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago
1) buy a lobster
[deleted] by
My friend is in forensics and works on crime
scenes. They find a woman laying on the
bathroom floor with a head wound and live
baby shrimp on the floor with a smell of burnt
residue. After 3 days of investigation, they
figured out what happened.
Long story short, she bought a lobster from
the market. In the market, they feed the
lobster live baby shrimp until they're sold. This
woman brings the lobster home, inserts the
lobster's tail into her vagina, lights a lighter
and puts the flame towards the lobster's head,
so the lobster will frantically start shaking his
tail (which is inside her vagina), giving her the
jollies. Apparently she killed the lobster from
burning his head too long, the lobster, being
dead, voids his bowels, causing this lobster to
shit live baby shrimp into her vagina. This
woman then goes to pee and sees live baby
shrimp crawling out of her vagina, she freaks
out, falls, and cracks her head open on the
bathtub and dies.
it happened in Chicago in 2001
?
---
14
1) wait for horny
Chicago 2001
"Lobster Love" Incident
  • 0
  • Movie

    3 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago
    The image shows a parody of the movie poster for "Jaws" with the title "JAWAS". Instead of a shark, there are several Jawas swimming in formation under a swimmer.
  • 0
  • Rifle

    55 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago
    The image is a split panel featuring two figures. On the left is a depiction of Jesus with a halo, and the text “Stop asking for automatic rifles and goth girls.” On the right is a Wojak character looking upset and the text “please J-man”.
  • 2
  • Love

    30 views · mal♡ · 2 years ago

    happy valentines day everyon!

    A pink Valentine's Day card with a portrait of Johann Sebastian Bach. The text on the card reads "come bach my love", and is signed "To: WJE From: MAP".
  • 10
  • Chicken

    17 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago
    A white chicken stands on a skateboard. There is text that says, "I'm outside bitch open the door".
  • 0
  • Rug

    16 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago
    The image shows a black doormat with white text that reads, "it's MY home, God gave me the right to make it a tomb for federal agents or thieves", and below the text is a cartoonish drawing of a person. Above the doormat is a text that reads, "The rug I ordered 6 months ago finally came in lmao."
  • 0
  • House

    14 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago
    A stick figure of a child asks his dad, who is sitting at a desk in front of a monitor displaying a Bitcoin chart, "Are you winning Dad?" The dad responds with "No, pack your things, I just lost the house."
  • 1
  • Alien

    15 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago
    The image is split into two parts. The top part features a handwritten note that says, "If an alien came to visit, I would kill it. By Bella". Below is a black and white image of a stern-looking man with a Hello Kitty bow in his hair.
  • 0
  • Ritual

    14 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago
    Four dogs sitting in a circle on a sandy beach holding paws in what looks like a satanic ritual. The text says "Satanic ritual to summon the Goodest Boy Ever."
  • 0
  • Challenge

    11 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago
    A black and white photo of soldiers landing on a beach from a boat. In the middle of the photo is the cartoon character Chris McLean with his arms spread out in a welcoming manner. The text on the image reads, "Alright campers, today's challenge is gonna be a hard one."
  • 1
  • Ball

    3 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago
    A cartoon image of Spongebob's front door with two green balls stuck in the crack. The text says "Spongebob open the door. My balls are stuck."
  • 4
  • Floor

    3 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago
    A crowd of gray-faced, almost identical people each has a logo of a media company on their head, including Facebook, MSNBC, Snopes, Reddit, CNN, BET, Fox News, Vice, CBS, NBC, ABC News, Google, Politico, Sun, and others. A speech bubble above them states: "They don't rearrange the floor really fast when you get on an elevator. It's a totally different floor."
  • 0
  • Werewolf

    4 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago
    A black, furry werewolf with glowing eyes stands on the stairs in a dark environment, looking directly at the viewer.
  • 1
  • Spongebob

    3 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago
    A photo shows two figures of Spongebob and Patrick that are realistic and somewhat unsettling. Patrick is pink and muscular with a serious expression, wearing green shorts. Spongebob is yellow, with human-like facial features including a wide smile, and a red tie and blue and white striped socks.
  • 1
  • Grammar

    8 views · The Radio Demon · 2 years ago

    That always annoys me, seeing people mess up your and you’re

    The image shows a four-row table with five Hazbin Hotel characters. The table contains speech bubbles with the texts "your gay", "yea", "what about my gay?", "and you're not? Loser." and "*you're" with the third row including "*finger guns*". The first row shows Angel Dust looking unimpressed and responding with "yea" to the initial statement. The second row shows Husk looking confused and asking "what about my gay?". The third row shows Charlie using finger guns. The fourth row shows Angel Dust looking offended and responding with "and you're not? Loser.". The last row shows Alastor correcting the grammar with "*you're".
  • 1
  • People

    44 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago
    A split image with a dog on the left, saying "I don't wanna get political but" and the same dog on the right, looking at a map with the text "478 million people live in the cum zone" written over the USA. The map also has Canada and Mexico labeled.
  • 0
  • Relationship

    19 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago
    A painting of Romeo and Juliet on a balcony, with text on the right side. The text reads: 'Romeo & Juliet is not a love story. It's a 3-day relationship between a 13yr old and a 17yr old that caused 6 deaths. Sincerely, Everyone Who Actually Read It.'
  • 0
  • Bio

    16 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago
    The image depicts a cartoon-like figure, Link, from the video game series "The Legend of Zelda", standing in what appears to be a science lab. The text "LINK IN BIO" is printed on top of the image.
  • 0
  • Mud

    16 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago
    A man is covered in mud in what appears to be the driver's seat of an off-road vehicle.
  • 1
  • Dog

    34 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago
    The image shows a close-up, rear view of a dog with its tail area prominently displayed, with a visible penis.
  • 1
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