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Slut

what’s dudeese · 7 months ago

A screenshot of a Discord interface where the UnbelievaBoat bot tells a user named timmothee. that they cannot be a slut for 27 minutes and 7 seconds.

King

Sore Raven · 7 months ago

The image features an ancient Egyptian papyrus-style painting. It depicts several dark-skinned men in white loincloths. Two standing men are having their genitals handled by two kneeling or seated men, possibly representing a medical or hygiene ritual. Hieroglyphs are visible in the background. The top caption in bold white text reads "WE WUZ KANGZ!" and the bottom caption reads "NO. YOU WERE DICK WASHERS."

Ladder

Gummy gummy gummy bear · 7 months ago

A screenshot of a text conversation on a black background. At the top, white text says "Nothing like a classic text from the old man". The messages below show a gray bubble saying "I fell off a 50 foot ladder this morning". A purple bubble response says "OMG dad are you ok !!!". Two final gray bubbles from the sender say "Yes" and "Thankfully I was on the first step".

Waking Up

Gummy gummy gummy bear · 7 months ago

Oh fuck no 💀

A screenshot of a text message conversation. The sender (green bubble) says, "I want to wake up with you the rest of my life". The receiver (grey bubble) replies, "I get up at 5 am". The sender immediately responds, "Nevermind".

Friendship

Heroin Monkey · 7 months ago

A screenshot of a text message thread. The interaction starts with friendly greetings from one side, met with hostility from the other. After User 1 claims they will be "best friends forever" with a picture of NBA player Jayson Tatum, User 2 reveals the dark and absurd reason for their anger: User 1 allegedly assaulted User 2's parrot.

Video

Heroin Monkey · 7 months ago

A screenshot of a satirical YouTube mobile app interface. The top window shows a man in a suit (Dean Winters as the Allstate 'Mayhem' character) during an ad. Text overlays indicate 'Sponsored · 2 of 9,604 · 95:58:07'. Below, a notification card features a blue circle with a party popper icon and the text 'You won the ad lottery! This month, you'll watch only ads so 22,709 users can enjoy YouTube without ads.' Two buttons at the bottom read 'Invite a friend to help' and 'Oh, okay'.

AI

Heroin Monkey · 8 months ago

A screenshot of a post showing a man with glasses and a beanie holding a large blue mug. The text overlay asks if he is afraid of AI taking his job, then retorts that AI can't steal wallets, concluding with the phrase "Glory to Romania".

Dog

Heroin Monkey · 8 months ago

A four-panel comic shows God talking to a group of dogs with wings and halos in heaven. He tells them he is sending them to Earth without wings so nobody suspects they are angels. The final panel shows a young girl hugging a golden retriever. Below the comic, a screenshot of a comment section shows a user named BumbleandBumble stating, "I saw an angel eat a child."

Choice

Heroin Monkey · 8 months ago

A meme on a pink background titled "YOU CAN ONLY PICK 2". It features nine colored pills (red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple, pink, brown, black) each with a unique superpower or trade-off listed below it. The options range from financial wealth with a yearly physical cost to specific sexual or violent abilities, and niche gaming skills.

Comment

UK · 8 months ago

A screenshot of a comment section where a user named .DINOSOURS LOVER. asks "guys im color blind what color she added?". A user named Wander replies "She's adding blue :D". After .DINOSOURS LOVER. thanks them, a third user named Pistachio asks "How did you read if ur blind 🤨", confusing color blindness with being totally blind.

Hamster

Heroin Monkey · 8 months ago

A meme showing the characters Gumball and Richard Watterson from 'The Amazing World of Gumball'. Gumball is in the bottom left, looking upwards with a terrified expression. Richard is on the right, looking extremely bloated and crying, with thick white liquid dripping down his face. The caption at the top reads: "When you done with the group hamster but now the little mf ain't moving".

Bill Gates

Heroin Monkey · 8 months ago

Picture

Shitpost master-general · 8 months ago

A screenshot of a 4chan post. The post features an anime girl with cat ears (Nekomimi) wearing a dark cloak. Large, crude red scribbles, including a circle and arrows, cover the right side of the image. The text claims the picture is genuinely scary and uncanny, suggesting it has the same unsettling effect as the creepypasta image smile.jpg.

Walter White

Shitpost master-general · 8 months ago

A four-panel image using characters from the TV show *Breaking Bad* and the anime *Bleach*. In the top left, Badger Mayhew offers, "Let me headpat you". In the top right, Walter White angrily rejects him, saying, "Stfu libtard I'm fine on my own..". In the bottom left, the anime character Yoruichi Shihoin, in a cat-eared form, commands, "Meow for me while I headpat you". In the bottom right, Walter White smiles intensely and shouts, "YES YORUICHI glory to catgirlwawa!".

Apology

Shitpost master-general · 8 months ago

A screenshot of a YouTube comment thread. The user Ricardo Pineda asks how to make the audio his ringtone. The user Joaquin Amaya replies with an insult: "Dumb nigga." Ricardo Pineda then retaliates by posting geographic coordinates: "@Joaquin Amaya 38.8977° N, 77.0365° W this you??" Joaquin Amaya immediately apologizes: "@Ricardo Pineda I'm sorry."

Tail

Shitpost master-general · 8 months ago

A screenshot of a Reddit post from the subreddit r/playboicarti. The post is titled "I think everyone wishes humans had tails". The body of the post describes a hypothetical scenario at Walmart where a mom compliments someone's hair. The author suggests that if humans had tails, they would wag involuntarily, revealing excitement and causing embarrassment when the 'mom' notices.

Anatomy

Heroin Monkey · 8 months ago

A three-panel comic strip. In the top panel, Mickey Mouse opens a bathroom door where Donald Duck is behind a shower curtain, saying, "Don't get in, Mickey! I'm naked!!". In the bottom-left panel, Mickey says, "What difference does it make?, you never wear pants". In the bottom-right panel, Donald steps out of the bathtub, revealing he has human-like breasts and a small penis, and simply says, "Right".

Miscommunication

UK · 8 months ago

A chat interface showing a conversation where one user says "you so Butyfull sexsy". The other user replies "an attempt was made". The first user says "yes" then "sand photo". The other user responds with a photograph of a sand dune under a blue sky.

Funeral

Heroin Monkey · 8 months ago

A screenshot of a social media post featuring a video game landscape with text overlay that reads: "Yo bro no disrespect but if you go to my funeral I ain't going to yours". Below the video, the comment section is visible, showing a user named johnny asking "why" and another user named reapingraq pointing out that someone actually asked why.

Revenge

Siri_the_Robot · 8 months ago

Uhuh

A meme featuring a distorted, low-quality close-up of SpongeBob SquarePants' face with a malicious, toothy grin. The text at the top reads, "when you're hiding from a school shooter with the classmates who flamed you for having an android", and the text at the bottom says, "hey Siri".

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