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Hand sanitizer

Daddy dick · 3 years ago

    • Dam

    The image depicts a text that says "Me: *puts on hand sanitizer* A cut I never knew existed:", followed by an image of Elmo engulfed in flames.
  • 4

    • Wound

    Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago
    • 1) buy a lobster [deleted] by My friend is in forensics and works on crime scenes. They find a woman laying on the bathroom floor with a head wound and live baby shrimp on the floor with a smell of burnt residue. After 3 days of investigation, they figured out what happened. Long story short, she bought a lobster from the market. In the market, they feed the lobster live baby shrimp until they're sold. This woman brings the lobster home, inserts the lobster's tail into her vagina, lights a lighter and puts the flame towards the lobster's head, so the lobster will frantically start shaking his tail (which is inside her vagina), giving her the jollies. Apparently she killed the lobster from burning his head too long, the lobster, being dead, voids his bowels, causing this lobster to shit live baby shrimp into her vagina. This woman then goes to pee and sees live baby shrimp crawling out of her vagina, she freaks out, falls, and cracks her head open on the bathtub and dies. it happened in Chicago in 2001 ? --- 14 1) wait for horny Chicago 2001 "Lobster Love" Incident
  • 0

    • Android

    Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago
    • The image shows a block of text in a small font against a dark background. The text discusses themes of artificiality, resentment, and the conflict between being built for a purpose and being blamed for wanting.
  • 1

    • Therapist

    Anonymous · 5 years ago

    • My therapist told me that time heals all wounds. So I stabbed him, now we wait.

  • 6
    • Wound jokes