Worst Jokes Ever

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freddyfatbear

so you have chosen...death

The image shows a text conversation where a spider is described as running around, and the person is unconcerned. Then the spider gets close and the person responds with a still from a movie with a man saying, "So you have chosen... death."

Thoughtless

Shep

Two men hold a sign at the airport. The sign reads, "Welcome Home Sean! Congrats on your PAROLE! Remember, you can't be within 100 yards of that sheep farm!" There are two images of a sheep's rear end with a no symbol over them.

kanade otonokoji

Im still alive and im going to make it everyones problem

The image shows two drawings of anime girls. The top image shows a girl holding a love letter with the text 'Notice me senpai' to the right. The bottom image shows a slightly different style of girl, holding a letter with the text 'Upperclassman, whom I admire, please acknowledge me'. Below that, more text is present 'To you, the gentleman within my age group, and grade range at our educational institute, I, the female speaking to you, have developed romantic feelings for you, and inquire you to indulge my desires by taking note of my presence.'

Anonymous

Just came up with a smart new way to make jokes. Try to figure it out without context

A screenshot of a website called "wheelofnames.com" with a wheel. The sections of the wheel contain: priest, prostitute, autistic, racist, transphobic, porn, woman, and shooting. To the right of the wheel there is a list with the same words. The text on top of the wheel says "The world stands with Ukraine". The website offers a feature to spin the wheel from within Discord.

Heroin Monkey

The image shows a job posting with the title 'Head Receiver'. Below it states 'Typically responds within 4', followed by a salary of '$18-$25 an hour', and an 'Easily apply' button.

𝕱𝖗𝖚𝖎𝖙 𝖔𝖋 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝕰𝖑𝖊𝖒𝖊𝖓𝖙𝖘

VAPING IS ALSO BAD

The image is an infographic about the dangers of smoking. It lists many of the negative health effects of smoking. It states that within 10 seconds of a puff, toxic chemicals reach organs. Smoking harms most of the body, increases disease risk, and affects look, feel, finances and people close to you. Nicotine in tobacco is highly addictive and it releases dopamine. Nicotine dependence happens when the brain craves dopamine. Smoking is a major cause of cardiovascular disease, heart attack, and stroke. It increases the risk of blood clots. Some smokers have limbs amputated due to blood circulation problems. A graph lists the annual deaths caused by cigarette smoking in the United States between 2005-2009. It shows over 479,989 deaths. The causes include: lung cancer, ischemic heart disease, chronic obstructive pulmonary disease, other diagnoses, stroke, and other cancers. The stages of lung cancer are shown.

Blach66.1

A screenshot of the Google Play Store page for the Kuda money app, which is advertised as being for Africans. Text overlaid on the image questions the phrasing, suggesting the app is for "Africans for money".

Heroin Monkey

A screenshot of a Google search result for Ervil LeBaron. It includes a photo of Ervil LeBaron and a description that he was the leader of a polygamous Mormon fundamentalist group who ordered killings. Overlaid on one of the photos is a picture of LeBron James with a beard, mustache, and devil horns.

big [fire] balls

The image displays a table with three text fields, each describing a different state of Allison Eckhart. The first one describes her as an extradimensional being, the second as an agent, and the third as a comatose being. All three texts use complicated and formal language to describe Allison Eckhart.