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Infidelity

147 views · Heroin Monkey · 1 month ago

this MIGHT be cosmos phone

A smartphone home screen with a galaxy background is filled with icons for apps like McDonald's, Hebrew Calendar, Hineni, Drops, Am Hazak, Jewish Prayer, NemoHebrew, Mossad baba, Israel News, Newsrael, MTAFC, Smashing Life, JVL, Revayah, Jewish Music +, Jewish Holidays, Bless Up, Trump's Empire, and American. A notification banner at the top from "MY LOVEE ❤️❤️❤️" says "She's busy rn bro 👊 😎". A large red arrow points to the notification. Overlay text reads "why does my gf text me in third person?".

Parent

59 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 months ago

A screenshot of a tweet from @drink2beers that says: "when my parents keep asking me why I don't have a girlfriend for Valentine's Day and I GENUINELY have to explain to them who Benjamin Netanyahu is". Below the text is a picture of actor Jonah Hill wearing a suit, looking exhausted with his eyes closed, rubbing the bridge of his nose/eye area in frustration.

City

59 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 months ago

A chaotic and vibrant hyper-edited collage styled like an epic movie poster. At the top, the title "CITY BOII" is written in glowing, fiery letters. The scene is filled with a variety of figures including the Hulk, Batman, Deadpool, and anime characters, all surrounded by intense blue lightning and orange flames. In the center is a large, distorted cartoon face with glowing blue eyes and an open mouth. There are also images of a bearded streamer and a yelling bald man. Large laughing and shocked emojis are at the bottom center. The text "THAT'S WHY HE'S THE GOAT" and "100% ACCURACY" are scattered around. The name "HEMMY BOI" appears at the very bottom.

Rainbow

238 views · Anonymous · 2 months ago

hmm wonder why....

A screenshot from a video game, likely Roblox, featuring a car with a vibrant rainbow gradient paint job. A character inside the car has a speech bubble that reads: "why wont my car go straight".

Funeral

258 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 months ago

A screenshot of a social media post featuring a video game landscape with text overlay that reads: "Yo bro no disrespect but if you go to my funeral I ain't going to yours". Below the video, the comment section is visible, showing a user named johnny asking "why" and another user named reapingraq pointing out that someone actually asked why.

Racism

292 views · K!ttyy · 2 months ago

Love the things I talk about

A screenshot of a messaging app conversation. One user asks, "why are you teaching me racial slurs?" and the other replies, "Why not". The first user then sends a string of messages: "cause im not racist", "i mean", "i do say the n word alot", "and make fun of mexicans", "and i really hate the yellow people", "and most jews suck", "but im not racist".

Car

226 views · D34DL7 N!GHTSH4D3S · 3 months ago

..do i even need to explain ts..

A screenshot from a game, likely Roblox, showing a car with a full rainbow gradient paint job. A character with a smug face is driving. A speech bubble above the car says "why wont my car go straight".

History

123 views · what’s dudeese · 3 months ago

A photo of a laptop screen showing a college application form for the College of Arts & Sciences. The question asks "Discuss why you have chosen history as your major." In the text box, the user has typed "the little dark age edits". There is overlay text that says "i hope my admissions officer knows ball 💔 wish me luck ✌️".

Mouth

75 views · Heroin Monkey · 4 months ago

A deep-fried meme featuring a muscular, screaming man with a metal coat hanger in his mouth. The text overlay reads: 'IF GOD DIDN'T WANT ME PUTTING METAL COAT HANGERS IN MY MOUTH, WHY DID HE MAKE THEM PERFECTLY IRON FLAVORED?'. In the background, there are images of Brian Griffin from Family Guy holding a wine glass, Sonic the Hedgehog, and flame icons. The man's expression is intense, suggesting a profound or humorous revelation.

Something

59 views · KillingButterflys · 5 months ago

A distorted, deep-fried image of Spongebob Squarepants with a mischievous and slightly awkward facial expression, holding a phone to his ear. Above Spongebob, white text describes a relatable social scenario.

Man

42 views · Heroin Monkey · 5 months ago

A diagram illustrating reasons why dating is supposedly hard for men. On the left, six pink female stick figures are shown. On the right, five blue male stick figures. Arrows point from all six female figures towards the top male figure, who is labeled "A man who takes a shower everyday, exercises himself and focuses on self-improvement." Below this figure, in descending order, are other male figures labeled: "Misogynist", "Tate fan", "Serbian ultranationalist", "Albanian crypto scammer", and "Romanian." The overall post title from the user is "Men are staying single because..." and the diagram title is "Why dating is hard for guys?".

Proof

79 views · Bubblegumㅤ · 5 months ago

A close-up photograph of a white and grey cat looking directly at the camera with a slightly confused or unimpressed expression. The top part of the image has white text overlay that reads: 'I seriously don't understand why we need birth certificates, like I promise you I was born.'

Plant

51 views · Shitpost master-general · 5 months ago

A four-panel comic. In the first panel, a woman with a green bow in her hair waters a basil plant with a red watering can. In the second, she looks sad while watering an empty pot labeled "Thyme", next to other pots labeled "Rosemary" and "Nirnroot". In the third panel, she asks a man, "Honey, why isn't my Thyme growing?" He replies, "Be patient. Give it some Thyme." In the fourth panel, the woman is in a hospital bed with an IV drip. A bear-like doctor shows her an X-ray of a human chest, with a bone clearly labeled "Thymus". The comic is attributed to Enzo Comics and CUEK.CO.

Pumpkin

55 views · Big Jim · 5 months ago

Y he look like dat

A large orange pumpkin sits on a kitchen counter, partially carved. It has small, round eyes and a wide, gaping mouth, giving it a goofy or startled expression. The lower part of the mouth carving is left thick, resembling a chin or lower jaw. In the background, carving tools, a bowl of pumpkin seeds, and a bat-shaped carving template are visible, suggesting the carving process is underway.

9/11 jokes

215 views · Oscar Lamb · 7 months ago

A black and white image of the New York City skyline, prominently featuring the Twin Towers. Overlaid text asks, "Why were the Twin Towers mad on 9/11? Because they ordered pepperoni pizza but instead, they got plane."

Asshole

69 views · Heroin Monkey · 7 months ago

A four-panel meme with text above. The top text reads 'ME: I don't understand why my asshole always hurts. Also ME:'. Below this are four images: The top left shows a jar of sliced jalapeño peppers. The top right shows a bowl of red salsa. The bottom left shows a pile of red chili peppers. The bottom right shows a person's torso holding a very large, ribbed, purple butt plug.

Michigan

32 views · Heroin Monkey · 7 months ago

A meme showing a map of Michigan. Text at the top reads: 'Bro why tf they say Michigan looks like a 'mitten' ?? the thumb would have to be huge'. A Photoshopped hand is placed over the map, with a large, disproportionate thumb covering Michigan's Upper Peninsula and the rest of the hand covering the Lower Peninsula, ironically illustrating the point about the thumb's size.

Sweat

81 views · Heroin Monkey · 7 months ago

A young blonde woman on a bus, looking annoyed and hot, with text overlay that reads: "i am sweating like a p3do in a nursery. why do uk buses not have air con 😡".

Slave

14 views · Heroin Monkey · 9 months ago

Protection

14 views · COBSON · 11 months ago

A multi-panel meme. The top panel, enclosed in a thought bubble, is a cartoon showing four figures. The first has a trans flag for a head and is smiling. The second is a simple figure with a neutral expression and crossed arms. The third and fourth figures have trans flags for skin/clothing patterns; one is a person in a jacket, the other in a tank top. The third figure is saying "Protect trans kids". The top panel has the text "Tameo" and an unreadable symbol in the corner. Below the thought bubble, the bottom panel shows two figures on the left: a wojak character with glasses and a character with sunglasses and a beard, looking right. On the right, two grotesque, heavily made-up figures are depicted. One has blue hair and is crying with smudged makeup. The other has purple hair, pale cracked skin, and large eyes. The text below the characters on the left says "Why are you looking at my son like that? I'm gonna call the cops."

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