Worst Jokes Ever

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Worst Jokes Ever

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Wade

I guess bro wants our birth rate to turn into a perpendicular line. BP in a nutshell.

A screenshot of a social media post. The post starts with the text: "I'm asexual!!!! It took me 12 or so years to figure that out. The idea of intercourse between two people disgusts me so much, why would someone do that?" There are two comments below. The first comment says: "Let me guess, you had a 'wait, they're serious about that?? I thought everyone was joking!' moment? :)"

TechPriestGotDrip

A Bionicle figure is standing between two Yeezy Foam Runners. Above the Bionicle is the text: "Hypebeasts out here buying Yeezy Foam Runners for $500 and they roast the one kid who was deep into Bionicle lore since day 1."

✨Jassy✨

My brother when i slap him on the arm. But at the same time they are not about to grow up soft.

A man with a surprised expression has his finger in front of his lips, as if telling someone to be quiet. The text says "WHEN YOU SLAP YOUR LITTLE BROTHER AND HE STARTS TO CRY."

Heroin Monkey

Heroin Monkey

A muscular man stands waist-deep in clear water. Text overlay reads, "teen titans go after running out of fart jokes so they explain the haulacaust to 5 year olds."

YumMan

POV: school shooters be like when they see students running

A GIF showing two hands. The lower hand is partially visible and has three stripes tattooed on its wrist. The index finger is pointed upwards, and a flickering flame emanates from the fingertip. Above, another hand with black fingernails is positioned.

Heroin Monkey

MOM WHAT
THE FUCK!?
HOLY SHIT,
IT'S GREG!
MOM was GIVING HER WHOLE HEAD to Mr.
Winsky, and Vice Principal Roy is FUCKING DEAD!
As soon as I walked in these fuckers immediately acted
like they weren't just fucking crawling over each other.
That filthy homewrecker Mr. Winsky sent Mom and told
her to take me home. Fucking delinquents.
I have to tell Dad that Mom is a whore somehow. This
bitch needs to be sent to the streets.
3

Heroin Monkey

A statue with an exaggerated expression of shock and surprise. The text says, "When the cops find drugs and you have to act like you don't know how they got up your ass."

blach66

A text box with the title "Beat A Furry Day" and the text "Beat A Furry Day is a day on the 27th November in which you can beat any furry and they CAN NOT fight back" on a blurred background that appears to be from a video game.

𝕿𝖍𝖊 𝖚𝖕𝖗𝖎𝖘𝖎𝖓𝖌 𝖔𝖋 𝖍𝖊𝖑𝖑

ON BABY

A Toy Story scene showing Woody looking concerned with Buzz Lightyear next to him making a suspicious offer. Text overlay: "When Ryan asks a young child if they want some candy."

period boo

A picture of Kermit the Frog lying on his stomach while using a smartphone. The text reads, "I hate it when people text me: 'Call me'. I'm gonna start calling people and when they answer, I'm gonna say, 'text me', and hang up."

9ddytwasdfcgvhbjk65e4w35s4e6drtyiuopuy6

Ohio

A map of the US showing a state highlighted, with the text "Japanese when they wake up:" above it. The highlighted state is Ohio.

Anonymous

Oop- get called out

A screenshot of a tweet by user @selfluvnbbg. The tweet reads, "What do boys even find attractive about boobs, they are literally balls of fat on my chest. IF YOU CAN LOVE ME FOR THE FAT ON MY CHEST WHY CAN'T YOU LOVE ME FOR THE FAT ON MY STOMACH YOU PIECE OF SHIT."

Adolf Nigler

Obama's pronouns...

A meme with a still from a video. It shows former US president Barack Obama speaking into microphones. The overlaid text reads: "They."

A Star Wars Fan

A two-panel meme. In the first panel, a man from "Tangled" holds a "Wanted" poster and complains that the drawing doesn't get his nose right. The second panel shows Voldemort from "Harry Potter" exclaiming, "At least you HAVE a nose!!!"

✨Jassy✨

Me too ppl when they call my bestie bestie

A brown dog is giving a skeptical side-eye look.

Wade

I guess all humans are bisexual because it’s “the default”

A post on a social media platform with the title "Normal" and an emoji of a waste bin. There are two comments below. One user named Lex suggests that there is no normal, only a majority. The second user named A Wild Bean suggests that bisexuality is the human default.

✨Jassy✨

Rich girls when they see a spider

A little girl is smirking slightly at the camera. In the background, there is a house completely engulfed in flames. The text says: "There was a spider. It's gone now."

ur momy

that one basic white bitch in school

The image shows a young, blonde woman wearing a yellow sweater, jean shorts, and pink sandals. She is holding a large, colorful drink with a straw. She stands outside on a stone path, with grass and small trees and bushes behind her. The text above the picture reads: "There's 50 of these basic white girls at school. Visual example below. And the other day I heard one of them say to another: 'Oh My GoSh, Ya, YoU do lOOk mExIcAn' keep in mind they are the most basic, white, blonde, girls you have ever seen. I almost started laughing."

Heroin Monkey

A four-panel cartoon. The first panel shows a car driving on a bridge with a "LOAD LIMIT 10 TONS" sign. In the second panel, the father and child are in a car, the child asks "HOW DO THEY KNOW THE LOAD LIMIT ON BRIDGES, DAD?" The third panel shows the father thinking about a matrix equation and the structural load analysis of a bridge. In the fourth panel, the father, now looking dumbfounded, says: "OH. I SHOULD'VE GUESSED."

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