Put memes

Foam

A repost to celebrate: Happy Mario Day! Take a break and read your favorite chapter from the Communist Manifesto.

Cartoon image of Mario with the superimposed text "When the fire extinguisher said it lasts for 3-5 years, but you drink all the foam in 37 minutes. I have achieved unlimited speed... but nowhere to put it."

Jokes

Prostate exam

I asked the doctor doing my prostate exam where I should put my pants. "Next to mine" was not the answer I was expecting.

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  • Boy

    A young boy enters a barber shop, and the barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you."

    The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?" The boy takes the quarters and leaves.

    "What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!"

    Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream parlor.

    "Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?"

    The boy licked his cone and replied:

    "Because the day I take the dollar the game is over!"

    Citizen

    Three citizens were going through an exam to become agents of the FBI. Their instructor handed the first guy a gun in a room with his wife and said he had to shoot her. He walked out in shame and said he couldn't do it. The second guy had the same scenario. He put the gun up, but couldn't pull the trigger, so he walked out in shame. The third guy was put in the same scenario. He walked out and told the instructor, "The gun wasn't loaded, I had to strangle the bitch."