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Masturbation

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A screenshot of a Reddit post from r/Kanye, labeled NSFW. The title asks, 'Is it still ethical to jiggle my johnson to Kanye songs?' The body text below is a 'DISCUSSION' post starting with 'A while ago, I discovered that certain Kanye songs caused me to become ithyphallic...' and continues with a lengthy description of the user's masturbation habits, influenced by Kanye West's music and recent controversies. It ends by asking for an alternative suggestion like 'Jordan Terrell Carter'.

Shit

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A screenshot of a 4chan post. On the left is a Pepe the Frog cartoon with a noose around its neck. On the right is text that reads: '>Mom unironically caught me shitting on the floor. It's fucking over.'

Car

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A screenshot of a Twitter thread by user 'ka vinki' (@jkavinsky). The first tweet says 'getting hit by a car kinda fun fr it feels like an action movie when u roll over the hood'. The second tweet is a reply to the first, stating 'driver was crying like she killed me or something relax'. The third tweet is another reply, saying 'nurse asked me to rate the pain 1 to 10 n i said 25 n started screaming i'm getting this morphine one way or another'.

Exam

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A handwritten note on lined paper shows the biological classification ranks: Domain, Kingdom, Phylum, Class, Order, Family, Genus, Species, written below a sentence with arrows pointing up from each rank to a corresponding word. The sentence reads: Dear Kevin, Please Come Over For Gay Sex. Above the note, text from a tweet says 'Gonna ace this exam'.

Hole

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A sidewalk with a large, phallic-shaped hole, accompanied by the text "Fell over on my morning walk. 😬"

Cinema worker

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A square-headed man is staring intensely. The text reads: "how the cinema worker looks at me when I yell 'water bucket release' and piss all over the family of 4 in front of me."

Picture

Face mcshooty · 1 year ago

FUCKING GENIUS

A split-screen shows a California identification card with a photo next to another, seemingly more intoxicated photo of the same person. The image text reads: "Smoked before my ID picture so when I get pulled over high I look normal."

Spending

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A screenshot of a Google search result titled "Daily Spending For 70 Years." It calculates that spending $332 billion in 70 years requires spending approximately $12,994,129.16 per day. The search bar contains the query "vibrating buttplug for men."

Divorce

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A screenshot of a Google search result for "Mummy Pig" showing a cartoon pig, followed by text that details the pig's life as having 67 divorces, being in love with Lester from GTA 5, hacking Fortnite, and killing 417 people including Stephen Hawking.

Bro

gyattohio · 1 year ago

William Dafoe smiles widely as the words of the meme are written above him.

Man

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A screenshot of a Reddit post that reads: "I agree unironically. If a 'man' is so light I can overhead press him for a set, then me filling his asshole with my seed isn't actually gay. I'm just enforcing the natural order by asserting my dominance over him. I've fucked like 6 or 7 guys since highschool and I don't consider myself gay at all."

Criticism

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A black and white drawing shows a large hand pressing down on smaller people. A quote from Voltaire is at the top. The comment on the post says, "we need to rise up against children with leukemia."

Kid

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A child sits in a high chair covered in spaghetti and sauce with a green food tray in front of him. The text overlay reads, "He threw a piece of bread at me so I flipped his lil dumbass over. Fuck them kids."

Cat

Anonymous · 1 year ago

Shitpost-master general

The meme shows a four-panel grid. The first panel shows a portrait of Mozart. The second panel shows a stick figure sitting at a table with a bowl, saying "He will never be a catboy" in a speech bubble. The third panel contains text that reads: "Less well known, however, is that Mozart liked to imitate a cat. He'd be rehearsing an opera with his singers, when he'd suddenly grow bored and leap over tables and chairs, meowing and turning somersaults. He even". The fourth panel shows a stick figure spitting out its cereal in surprise.

Argument

Anonymous · 1 year ago

Shitpost-master general

A pink and purple image with obscured text that says "I'm not arguing with a twink. Bend over."

Nipple

Anonymous · 1 year ago

Shitpost-master general

Two hands are holding jumper cables. The text on the image says: "Your nipples. Hand them over now."

Child

Glassiiewxter · 1 year ago

The image shows a blurry bird running with the text "8 year old me running over to my dad because 'bob from work' is calling."

Man

Apollo · 1 year ago

FUCK YEA

The image shows a text about the life and work of Niels Bohr, a physicist. The text discusses his impact on physics, his theories, and his role in history.

Cat

Adolf kitler · 1 year ago

Four cartoon cats are depicted with descriptions of their character. The first cat is a black cat labelled "problem clan" and described as wanting to be cool, being sneaky, and always ending up with villains. The second cat is a beige cat labeled "I am speed" and described as being small, saying "get off my land," and thinking it is better than you. The third cat is a light blue cat labeled "swimmy" and described as starting a fight over some rocks, eating fish and forgetting who some people are. The last cat is an orange cat labeled "protagonist" and described as doing no wrong, being involved in everything, and related to everyone.

Cat

Adolf kitler · 1 year ago

The image shows two drawings of a person lying down with a cat. The first drawing is labeled "3 weeks" and shows a small cat on the person's torso. The second drawing is labeled "52 weeks" and shows a much larger cat on the person's torso.

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