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Confession

36 views · Shitpost master-general · 2 months ago

A screenshot of a Twitter thread. The original post states, "if i had a dick i'd stack donuts on it". The reply begins by participating in the crude joke, saying, "Yeah I probably get 2 or 3 donuts ahaha," before abruptly transitioning into a detailed murder confession, providing the location (Sam Houston National Park 30.535993, -95.645309), depth (7.3 feet), and the victim's name and age (Josef Kalic, 34 years old), and the date of the crime (2006).

Card

25 views · Heroin Monkey · 11 months ago

A screenshot of a mobile phone displaying a card game with a hand of cards, followed by a comment and a reply. The comment asks what the abomination next to the ace is, and the reply states "161 of clubs."

Teacher

18 views · Face mcshooty · 1 year ago

Two cartoon fish sit at a table looking miserable. Text reads: "When the teacher says, 'Discuss your ideas with the person sitting next to you,' but you don't fw the person sitting next to you."

Guy

4 views · Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A face with a serious, almost annoyed expression is in focus. The text on top reads: "How I look at the guy using the urinal next to me who just said, 'Where there's rain, there's thunder!' as he farts while pissing."

Wine

Cupツ · 1 year ago

OOp -_- fr

A screenshot of a text message exchange. One person asks, "What are you doing?" The other replies, "Laying in bed." The first person asks, "Just laying in bed, nothing else?;)" The other replies, "I'm drinking wine." The first person asks, "What would you do if I was in bed next to you?" The other replies, "Drink my wine." The first person says, "LOL, I mean if the wine wasn't there!" The other replies, "Go buy wine."

Story

60 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image shows a green cartoon character with red eyes. Below the image is text of a story about a date gone wrong, ending with the line "That's my story of how I got cockblocked by motherfucking al qaeda."

Male

5 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image is a screenshot of a 4chan conversation with two photos attached. The first photo shows a very simple, mostly white bedroom with a bed, a ceiling fan, and a window. The second photo shows a bedroom with a wooden nightstand next to a bed, a green lamp, a bottle of beer, and a pizza box on the nightstand. The text above the photos reads: "Do males really live like this?" The subsequent messages are "yeah although I put a cool t-rex lamp next to my bed", "that's fucking sick dude" and "based t-rex chad"

Laugh

19 views · ToxicHaste22'uwu · 2 years ago

i would try so hard not to laugh if that person was next to me

A picture of Shrek with the text "WHEN THE TEACHER IS YELLING AT SOMEONE AND YOU TRY NOT TO LAUGH".

School

2 views · ✨Jassy✨ · 3 years ago

Me at school

A child is making a skeptical face, with the text 'WHEN SOMEONE YOU DON'T LIKE SITS NEXT TO YOU' above and the question 'are u lost?' next to her head.

House

13 views · GG Miller · 3 years ago

LMAO

A yellow minion stands on the right side of the image. On the left there is a conversation between the police and a person. It reads: Police: Where do u live? Me: With my parents. Police: Where do your parents live? Me: With Me. Police: Where do you all live? Me: Together. Police: Where is your house? Me: Next to my neighbors house. Police: Where is your neighbors house? Me: You won't believe me if I tell you. Police: Tell Me! Me: Next to my house.