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Shitpost master-general

Soles

A four-panel comic strip. In the first three panels, a woman and a man are hanging Christmas stockings over a fireplace. The woman questions the tradition, saying, "Stockings are kind of a weird concept. Like, who came up with it? Who thought pulling things out of socks would be so exciting?" In the fourth panel, Santa Claus is sitting at a desk, looking intently at a laptop screen which displays a grid of photos/video feeds showing various close-ups of bare feet. Santa says, "Hell yeah."

A close-up shot of two fortune cookies with a slip of paper in front of them. The text on the paper reads: "A kind stranger will piss in your ass today. Panda Express."

The image shows an upset Majin Buu from Dragon Ball Z standing beside an hourglass with green liquid. The text above the image reads, "Me waiting for the next generation, to see which kind of cursed memes we get."

Why should you care

Do you know this kind of kid

A cartoon penguin from the movie "Madagascar" looks surprised. The text reads: "THE SMART KID: *GETS B+ ON THEIR BLOOD TEST* WHAT?!"

A black and white cartoon drawing depicting a text written in a diary, describing how Patty got a secret out, and then the person was sent to the vice principal's office. Then, the person heard a bouncing noise, laughter, and giggling, followed by two voices sounding like they were having sex in school. A drawing of a person standing in front of lockers is below the text. Another line of text says, "I opened the door, and oh boy, you'll be surprised about who I saw." A number "2" is at the bottom of the page.

A drawing shows a stick figure with a speech bubble saying "I'm okay." The figure is hunched over and chained to several round objects labeled "HORNY.". The text above the drawing reads, "be kind to people. u never know the burdens they carry around."

A screenshot of a tweet by Robert Littal (@BSO). The tweet contains a headline about 'Florida Man' and describes how he told his neighbors he would 'kill them with kindness,' then proceeded to try and attack them with a machete he named 'Kindness.' Below the text is a mugshot photo of the man with a small injury on his forehead.

A screenshot of a Facebook group chat, titled "Montece Dodge Charger 2013", with a white Dodge Charger as the group photo. The conversation shows a user asking if the car is still available. The seller responds with "I don't sell to your kind" and later says, "I don't take food stamps or drug money at all".

A close up shot of a frog looking directly at the viewer. It is being held in someone's hand. Below the image are text messages: "What is this." followed by "frog", "What kind." followed by "A chonk one", and "Yes, but what is it called." followed by "Harold".

A portrait of an old man in a black coat with the text "There are two kinds of people in this world. Avoid both of them."

CAKED ASS

A photo shows the backside of a dog, revealing its large hindquarters. The image contains the text "what kind of dog is this @genius_dogs. Follow, 12:57 AM - May 21, 2022, 5.3K, boredpanda.com".

A photo of a smiling man and woman wearing bike helmets. Text above them reads: "Roses are Red, Sandwich is Grilled". Text below them reads: "Millennial Couple Bikes Through ISIS Territory to Prove 'Humans Are Kind' and Gets Killed."

A scientific image shows a small, pale fish larva attached to a large, white, round yolk sac against a black background. Below the image, text reads: 'The horngus of a dongfish is attached by a scungle to a kind of dillsack (the nutte sac).[77]'

A Capri Sun drink pouch with the text "Damn this shit kinda hydrating." "I NEED her bouncing and moaning on it." and "The Federal Government must fall."

The image shows a news headline that reads: "Are otter posts on social media really just a cryptic form of extremist communication?" Below the headline is text that reads: "By Ari Lurksberg Published: 8/3/2021 19:03." Under the headline is a picture of an otter holding a glass of chocolate milk. Text in the image reads: "Please accept some choccy milk from this kind otter".

The image shows three panels of Winnie the Pooh. The first panel shows a regular Winnie the Pooh with the text "WHO ASKED" next to him. The second panel shows Winnie the Pooh in a suit with the text "I AM SORRY, BUT I COULDN'T FIND WHO WANTED THIS OPINION." next to him. The third panel shows Winnie the Pooh in a suit, monocle, and mustache with the text "I APOLOGIZE, KIND SIRE, BUT THE PERSON WHO WANTED TO KNOW THIS OPINION COULD NOT BE FOUND ANYWHERE NEAR OUR LOCATION AND IT'S UNLIKELY WE WILL EVER SEE HIM." next to him.

How I feel about Fletcher <3

The image shows a set of eight jars, each labeled with a different adjective. The jars appear to be filled with a red liquid, and some of them are overflowing. The labels are: Pretty, Caring, Funny, Kind, Perfection, Annoying, Romantic, and the last is not entirely visible. The text at the top reads: "How I see him".

A four-panel comic shows two bald figures and a Doberman. In the first panel, one figure says "I have a bad history with dogs" while the other figure looks on with concern. In the second panel, the first figure is reassuring the other saying "Oh him? He's fine, lovely and kind." The third panel shows the dog saying to the first figure "Go stick a lit match up your ass." The fourth panel shows the first figure crying with the dog and the second figure looking indifferent.

TechPriestGotDrip

A side-by-side comparison of a girlfriend and a Keetongu figure, listing their attributes in table form. The girlfriend is described as being pretty but not always, knows makeup, will choose a bad boy, can break your heart, forces you to choose between her and friend, and is a weak fighter that needs protection. Keetongu is described as beautiful, with a symmetric shape, knows every kind of poison, will distinguish good and evil, will always protect with an absorbing shield, will help you save your friend, and can crush Sidorak with his bare hands.

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