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Toaster

When you turn 400 those nasty thoughts sometimes peer in, but if you're lucky, you can be cleansed by the machine spirit by simply visiting your local tech priest.

A picture of a cartoon character with white hair and a sly smile, with the text "Parents: are you still a virgin? The toaster:"

Hair

ISSAC TIBBITS if u know him then u know him

The image shows a meme with a photo of Donald Trump. Above his head is the text 'WHEN YOU GO TO BED WITH PERFECT HAIR' and below 'AND WAKE UP LIKE THIS'. Donald Trump's hair is messy.

Otter

A brown otter stands upright on a grassy field, holding a small stick like a cane. The text above the image says, "You have been visited by the wise traveling otter. He will tell you the secret to learning the truth about WWII without trading your sanity for it, but only if you repost this and say 'Thank you wise traveling otter.'"

Dick

The image shows a text conversation followed by a hand pushing a blue button labeled "nute". The text depicts an awkward sexual encounter with a man using heavy Irish slang.

Woman

The image shows text in white font on a grey background. It reads: "If a woman is uncomfortable watching you masturbate, she: A. Has intimacy issues. B. Is frigid. C. Needs to sit somewhere else on the bus."

Manga

Market

People will bet on everything... ...I mean nothing.

A screenshot of a prediction market titled "Nothing Ever Happens: May." The market rules state that it will resolve to "No" if Russia and Ukraine agree to a ceasefire, the next Pope is Black, the Fed cuts rates, India invades Pakistan, or Israel or the US take military action against Iran. Otherwise, it will resolve to "Yes."

Dad

A pixelated image of a person with red eyes in a blue and black environment has the text "If Herobrine isn't real, how did my dad die from a Herobrine overdose?"

Boyfriend

Shitpost-master general

A blue wire cage with colorful plastic tunnels and accessories, against a white background. Text overlay reads "if i had a boyfriend i'd put him in here."

Man

A screenshot of a Reddit post that reads: "I agree unironically. If a 'man' is so light I can overhead press him for a set, then me filling his asshole with my seed isn't actually gay. I'm just enforcing the natural order by asserting my dominance over him. I've fucked like 6 or 7 guys since highschool and I don't consider myself gay at all."

KKK

Quora asking the real questions.

A screenshot of a list of related questions on Quora about the KKK (Ku Klux Klan) and other groups or figures such as the IRA, white supremacists, Donald Trump, the Knights of Columbus, Asians, Satanists, and Native Americans.

Lord of the Rings

The image shows a text on the left side and the box set of "Lord of the Rings" movies on the right side, along with the One Ring itself. The text on the left side reads: "If you're ever sad, just remember the world is 4.543 billion years old and you somehow managed to exist at the same time as Lord of the Rings."

Crime

A tweet by derek guy @dieworkwear that reads: "i honestly dont know how rich ppl end up committing crimes. if i had even $500K, i would live so peacefully, mind my own business, wear my little outfits, and just feed birds."

Beer

A collage of screenshots of Scotty Kilmer's YouTube videos. Each video has a different theme: using fuel additives when one can't afford beer, being drunk, and keeping secrets. The word "Secret" is overlaid twice on two different videos. The word "Drunk" is overlaid on one video.

Tax dollar

A black and white photo of Jimmy Carter with a quote attributed to him: "If you don't want your tax dollars to help the poor, then stop saying you want a country based on Christian values, because you don't."

Tweet

A meme showing a Twitter post by Nicki Minaj. The text in the tweet states, "my pussy so wet no child in africa would be thirsty again if i just squirted over the entire continent." Below the tweet is a reaction image of a cat with wide eyes and a shocked expression.

Sign

I can DEFINITELY relate

The image shows a list titled "7 Signs You're Getting Better At Rapping." Next to it is a drawing of a light-skinned man with a serious expression pointing his finger directly at the viewer. Below the list is "HOW TO RAP @HOWTORAPNATION"

Robber

A yellow minion with a big smile and goggles is on the right side. The text on the left side reads: "IF ROBBERS EVER BROKE INTO MY HOUSE AND SEARCHED FOR MONEY I'D gang rape my wife."

Lion

The image is a split panel comparing "1 trillion lions" to "the sun". Below this is a comment stating "The lions would win if they attacked at night" followed by an image of Jeremy Clarkson saying "Sometimes my genius is... it's almost frightening".

Masturbation

A screenshot of a Reddit post from r/Kanye, labeled NSFW. The title asks, 'Is it still ethical to jiggle my johnson to Kanye songs?' The body text below is a 'DISCUSSION' post starting with 'A while ago, I discovered that certain Kanye songs caused me to become ithyphallic...' and continues with a lengthy description of the user's masturbation habits, influenced by Kanye West's music and recent controversies. It ends by asking for an alternative suggestion like 'Jordan Terrell Carter'.

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