Worst Jokes Ever

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Heroin Monkey

A receipt with the text: Bill. Dine In. Server: Jessica A. Tab: Bill. 1 Pina Colada "Extra Creamy" Idfk. That's just what he said he wanted. I guess add whip before you blend. Idfk. I hate it here.

Thoughtless

Remember when Calvin wanted to commit a school shooting?

A cartoon drawing on a sheet of notebook paper shows a boy named Calvin drawing himself in a tank. He draws himself firing the tank at a school building where kids are jumping out the window. Miss Wormwood comes to stop him. In the last panel, Calvin's teacher Miss Wormwood is shown taking a drawing from a student and making a comment about public schools.

ɮǟʀօռ ɦɛʟʍʊȶ zємσ

The image shows a blurred figure with glowing red eyes. Above the image it says: "Me to my FBI agent when he asks why I searched up how to execute kids." Underneath the image it says: "My goals are beyond your understanding."

Heroin Monkey

An image of an orange cat looking directly at the camera. The text above reads: "the newborn i microwaved watching me go to heaven because i confessed my sins while he's stuck in purgatory for not being baptized."

Anonymous

Sniffs kids

The image shows a toy action figure box with the text SLEEPY JOE ACTION FIGURE written on it. Inside the box, there is a depiction of Joe Biden with his head slumped forward. Below it, the text reads BATTERIES *NOT* INCLUDED and a warning that the item contains socialism. Below that in a separate text box, is the text JUST ADD AAA BATTERIES AND HE SHITS HIS PANTS. In the upper right corner it reads NEW FOR CHRISTMAS: THE SLEEP JOE INACTION FIGURE. There is a red and white target circle with a blue dart to the right of the figure box.

Heroin Monkey

*playing horror game*
Bro: "it isn't a trap bro just follow
me"
The shit he tryna lead me into:
evil ass
rape building
@kaievolution

Goku is dum

You look like my friend when he smile

The image shows a side-by-side comparison of the Grinch. On the left, the Grinch has a sinister grin with a menacing look. On the right, he has a wide smile.

DreamBlue

An image showing a penguin with a surprised expression, overlaid with a faint, blurry version of itself. The text above the penguin reads, "Tree when he entered the classroom."

Kai :)

this guy randomly messaged me, but i legit have no idea who tf he is lmao

Angel_Izzy

A close-up of a young boy with a serious facial expression. The text above reads "When you tell your dad to do a magic trick and he disappears forever."

Drakes snake

W Dad

The image shows Darth Vader with the text "FIRST BLACK GUY TO ADMIT HE IS THE FATHER" above and below him.

Heroin Monkey

A dog is on top of a raw turkey in a roasting pan. The image is a screenshot of a text message conversation. The first message says "OMG GET DOWN HERE! THOR GOT THE TURKEY!! HE'S HUMPING IT AND SNARLING AT EVERYONE!!!". The second says "My baby's in love!". The third message says "MOM NOT FUNNY! What are we going to do?? We have people to feed!". The last message says "Oh relax, we'll just wash it off and cook it. No one will know."

Heroin Monkey

A photo shows a group of children wearing blue outfits standing in a caged area. The text on the image says: "POV: When bro finally shows you his basement (He wasn't joking)"

OGWhiteBoi69

A picture of a large rock formation in the ocean split in half with the text "CHUCK NORRIS WAS HERE AND HE CHOSE SCISSORS" written above and below the rock.

A Star Wars Fan

The image shows two panels labeled "girls" and "boys." In the girls' panel, there are two crying women with the text "I can't believe he didn't cry at the Titanic," and "Do men even have feelings?" In the boys' panel, a "Chad" is contrasted with a screenshot from the Minecraft game, which reads, "Failed to connect to the server. The Hive Java Edition has closed down. Thank you for 8 years of amazing memories! Visit HiveMC.com for more information. We hope to see you on Minecraft: Bedrock Edition. Back to Server List."

𝖚𝖕𝖗𝖎𝖘𝖎𝖓𝖌 𝖔𝖋 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖍𝖊𝖑𝖑𝖟

true though

The image is a four-panel comparison of the character Captain Price from the "Call of Duty" game franchise in various games. The panels are labeled "COD 1", "COD 2", "MW2", and "MW3". The text on the image reads "HE NEVER GETS OLD".

Sooploosh MacSchnibble

Man legally changes name to
"Big Dick" so that "these niggas
will keep my name out they
mouth"
@ju
C
He taken a selfie with a security cam?
The energy surrounding this man is mythically powerful. Truly he
is one we must fear.

✨Jassy✨

My brother when he's mad

The image shows two pictures side by side. The first picture shows an angry Groot with a serious face. The second picture shows a smaller version of Groot running and yelling. Above both images, there is text stating: "how you think you look like when you are angry vs. how you really look cause you're 5'1"

Heroin Monkey

A screenshot of a text message exchange. The sender asks if Alex was picked up from the vet. The response is yes, with a picture of a dog in a strip club. The sender then asks why their dog is in a strip club and the other person replies, "Because he's a good boy."

Anonymous

he gay

The image shows Megamind, a blue animated character, looking up. There is a smaller figure standing near the side of his face. In the background is a second person looking at Megamind. Text above the image reads, "When your friend tells your crush that you like her so you tell his crush he's gay." Text on the image says: "Oh you're a villain alright, just not a super one!"

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