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Shitpost master-general

Merry eve of Christmas

A lit green candle in a glass jar sits on a wooden surface. The text at the top of the image says "Men are so hard to shop for". The label on the candle reads "Cigarettes and Gasoline Candle" and includes simple line-art icons of a smoking cigarette and a jerrycan of gasoline.

KillingButterflys

whoever posted this one ty bc that got a good laugh out

The meme shows a text comparison between 'girls locker room' and 'boys locker room'. The girls' section reads: 'omg, i'm so tired, the test was so hard'. The boys' section shows an image of a person in military camouflage holding a rifle and riding on a yellow cleaning cart. Overlay text on the image says 'ASSAULT VEHICLE ACQUIRED'.

A diagram illustrating reasons why dating is supposedly hard for men. On the left, six pink female stick figures are shown. On the right, five blue male stick figures. Arrows point from all six female figures towards the top male figure, who is labeled "A man who takes a shower everyday, exercises himself and focuses on self-improvement." Below this figure, in descending order, are other male figures labeled: "Misogynist", "Tate fan", "Serbian ultranationalist", "Albanian crypto scammer", and "Romanian." The overall post title from the user is "Men are staying single because..." and the diagram title is "Why dating is hard for guys?".

A screenshot of the FL Studio interface, which is a dark gray grid. On this grid, a graph is plotted using bright green rectangular blocks, forming a Cartesian coordinate system with X and Y axes. The mathematical function F(x)=x is plotted as a diagonal line through the origin, also made of green blocks. The text "F(x)=x" is spelled out in green blocks to the left of the Y-axis. At the top, a caption reads, "man plotting graphics in fl studio is too hard 😭".

A screenshot of a dark mode text post displays an explicit fanfiction excerpt. A picture of Walter White from Breaking Bad, wearing his Heisenberg hat and glasses, with a beard, is superimposed over the text. Red circles highlight Walter White's face, the words 'Say my name,' and 'name.' The text describes a highly suggestive scene where a character is 'trembling from restraint' and eventually pleads, 'Please. I need you. Say my name.' The final sentence reads: 'He's falling apart. He's breaking. You're making him burn, and he loves every second of it.'

The image displays a product package designed to resemble American patriotic imagery. The background is an American flag with red and white stripes and a blue field with white stars. A bald eagle with outstretched wings is depicted above a red baseball cap. The cap has "MAKE AMERICA HARD AGAIN" written on it in white text, parodying a well-known political slogan. Above the eagle, the product name "M.A.H.A. 3000" is displayed. Below the cap, a single red and white capsule, resembling a pill, is visible in blister packaging. The text "GET YUGE!" is printed at the bottom left.

A screenshot of a fake definition page for the skull emoji '💀' in slang. The title is 'Skull emoji in slang'. The definition states that the skull emoji in slang is a way to replace 'I'm a slutty Femboy' or 'Please fuck me with your big hard cock', commonly used by Femboys and very Lesbian women. It urges the reader to 'rid this world of "💀" users' and 'report any you find on the internet'. It then repeats '💀💀💀'. Below, it summarizes '💀 Skull emoji in slang meaning "please fuck me" or another scentence along the lines of "I'm a femboy"'. It is attributed 'by 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀 December 31, 2022'. Below that are buttons indicating 2539 likes, 342 dislikes, and a flag option.

A meme with text above a black and white image of a distorted face with wide eyes. The text is a dialogue where one person is trapped with another's sister and asks how to open the door, to which the other replies, "Just bang it really hard."

Still from "The Iron Giant" animation movie with the Iron Giant looming over a beaten-up Peter Pan. The meme text reads: "Peter Pan when he raw dogged Tinkerbell too hard."

A meme showing a man looking stressed with his hands on his head. Above him are three doors labeled "Goth girl", "Mommy", and "Latinas". The text says, "Girls: Boys don't have to make hard choices. Me:".

A person's face is silhouetted in gray, with hands holding a heart in the center. The text says, "You're not alone. If you or someone you know is having a hard time, help is always available."

A screenshot of a chat window. The chat begins with someone saying "I have a very hard question," followed by "Are you sure you can answer it?", then "Ok... If you say so", finally asking "Are gay people gay?" The other person replies with "What", "Yea", and "Yes".

Why should you care

Truly are

A set of translucent red and white dice with the title "The Cursed dice" above. The text describes the strange properties of cursed dice, including their unnatural glow, and their ability to roll specific numbers on command.

The image shows a B-52 Stratofortress taking off. The text on the image reads: "I am not a toy. I am not a Christmas present. I am a 100 year commitment. Please think hard before you give someone a B-52 Stratofortress this Christmas."

The image is a comparison between a "Girlfriend" and "Uranium-235" each with a list of properties. Both are "Unstable", "Will split up on you", "Hard to find", and "Expensive". The girlfriend "Cannot be used to make atomic bomb" but the uranium can.

The image shows the text "Let's take a moment and appreciate Kelly Nelson for her underrated hard work in Breaking Bad" above a list of crew members with the line "Hair Stylist: Kelly Nelson" circled in red. Below the text is a collage of bald characters from the show 'Breaking Bad'.

The image shows Jesus with rays of light pointing at a crying teenager. The text on the image reads: "emo bands", "lyrics about how hard life is" and "13 yr olds on vacation with their parents".

big [fire] balls

The image shows four panels, each with a different SCP object class icon and a caption. The first panel shows the icon for Euclid with text: "How hard I could hit my brother". The second panel displays the Safe icon with text: "How hard I decided to hit him". The third panel shows the Keter icon with the caption: "How he described it to my dad". The fourth and final panel shows the Apollyon icon with the caption: "How my dad gonna hit me".

I can DEFINITELY relate

The image shows a list titled "7 Signs You're Getting Better At Rapping." Next to it is a drawing of a light-skinned man with a serious expression pointing his finger directly at the viewer. Below the list is "HOW TO RAP @HOWTORAPNATION"

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