Deadline memes

My midget landlord told me to pack my things up and that I've got 30 minutes to get out. That's short notice!

Bill gets home from work late again, and Susan is angry. She hollers at Bill, "I AM FURIOUS. When I go outside tomorrow, there better be something that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds!" Bill says, "Ok." The next morning there is a box outside! Susan opens it. It's a scale! Bill hasn't been seen since October 2, 2002.

If I don't get a bf by the end of this month, Christmas lights won't be the only thing hanging from the roof.