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Deer

49 views · Shitpost master-general · 6 months ago

A screenshot of a 4chan post on a light green background. On the left, there is a small image of a brown deer standing in a forest, looking towards the right. Below the deer image, it says "34 KB JPG". To the right of the deer image, and continuing below it, is a block of text describing a disturbing hunting experience where the author and their grandfather witnessed a deer repeatedly slam its head into a rock until its skull shattered, then stood upright and walked into a river to die, leaving both the author and their grandfather traumatized.

Lingerie

135 views · Shitpost master-general · 3 months ago

A screenshot of an online comment section. The top comment by 'sissyslutforyouonly' reads: "I wore my mom's lingerie and got off to imagining my dad doing me (I'm not a girl)". A reply by 'dave_mustains_stolen_riff' features a black and white image of a war-weary soldier with a thousand-yard stare, looking intensely into the camera.

Capybara

341 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 months ago

An image featuring a photo of a capybara at the top and a series of Instagram comments below. The comments mock the animal's generic appearance, comparing it to a default video game character, common loot, or a tutorial enemy. Text includes: "Imagine being a random fucking thing", "bro is an enemy in the tutorial", "bro is the default animal", "Bro is built like common loot", "Just some bullshit with fur", "Ts is a damn login reward", "His only job is existing and that's enough", and "Went to the pet store and just said 'one animal please'".

Satire

28 views · Heroin Monkey · 7 months ago

A still from a Marvel movie shows Tony Stark, portrayed by Robert Downey Jr., with a perplexed expression while looking at a holographic display of a spinning Earth. Above the image, white text on a black background reads: "The Onion trying to write a more ridiculous article title after getting one upped by reality every week."

Man

53 views · Heroin Monkey · 7 months ago

An ancient Chinese terracotta warrior statue is shown against a black background. To the left, white text reads: "Anyone can piss on the floor, it takes a real man to shit on the ceiling." Below this, smaller text attributes the quote to "- Sun Tzu, The Art of War".

Antisemitism

264 views · Based_Noticer · 4 months ago

A screenshot of a Twitter post with white text on a black background. The text reads: 'No one baselessly starts blaming Jews for everything. It actually goes like this: "I hate the media" "Wait there's a bunch of Jews behind this?" "I hate the porn industry" "Wait there's a bunch of Jews behind this?" "I hate our foreign policy" "Wait there's a bunch of Jews behind this?" "I hate Wall Street" "Wait there's a bunch of Jews behind this?" "I hate academia" "Wait there's a bunch of Jews behind this?" "I hate Israel blowing up kids" "Wait there's a bunch of Jews behind this?" That's the actual sequence of events.'

Surveillance

202 views · Heroin Monkey · 4 months ago

A man in a dark suit stands with his back to the viewer, observing a giant, segmented screen displaying a huge, close-up image of another man's face, who looks contemplative or concerned. The scene is reminiscent of high-level surveillance. The text overlay reads: "How it feels to secretly put a camera in bro's room so you lowk only text him when he's gooning."

Afghanistan

161 views · Heroin Monkey · 5 months ago

A photograph of a television screen showing the streaming service Tubi. The movie displayed is titled "Osombie," listed as 2012, 1 hr 35 min, TV-MA, Action, Horror. The synopsis reads: "While in Afghanistan, a Colorado yoga instructor and a NATO special forces team encounter an undead Osama Bin-Laden and his zombie terrorist army." The movie poster image shows the zombie Osama Bin-Laden with glowing blue eyes and a beard. Over the image, text says, "tubi genuinely be having anything."

Nude

29 views · Heroin Monkey · 11 months ago

An illustration shows the Joker character from Batman embracing a pregnant blue frog character wearing goggles and a vest (Crazy Frog). The background is pink with small hearts. Text overlay reads: She asked for a nude. I sent her a pic of Joker gently embracing an impregnated Crazy Frog, and she blocked me. Then I realized she wanted a nude of my body; I, a fool, sent one of my soul.

Budget

28 views · Heroin Monkey · 10 months ago

A black and white portrait of actor Willem Dafoe looking intense and slightly menacing. White text overlaid on the bottom reads: 'movie nerds when you like interstellar instead of ковер плесень made in 1902 with a budget of $12.39:'.

Candy

12 views · Angel_Izzy · 2 years ago

Me:

The image shows a red Elmo with wide eyes looking surprised. The text on the image says: "When you've killed 5 zombies and stabbed a vampire with a stake when you start to wonder why they were carrying bags of candy."

Camel

21 views · Grizzlymilk · 2 years ago

This is in a book I’m reading

The image contains text from a book: "of Herodotus. It is not possible for a camel to travel through the eye of a needle. The Roman..."

Shirt

12 views · OzzyTheDinoo · 2 years ago

The image shows two frames side-by-side. In the left frame, Morty from Rick and Morty is sleeping peacefully with his eyes closed and a neutral expression. In the right frame, he is sitting up in bed with his eyes wide and mouth slightly open, looking surprised. The text above the images reads, "when I randomly remember one of my shirts I haven't seen in a while".

House

10 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image shows three vertically stacked screenshots of Youtube videos featuring Deji. The first video is titled 'How To Break Into A House' with 1M views from 6 years ago, the second is titled 'Fans Broke Into My House' with 2.3M views from 2 years ago. The bottom panel shows the face of a laughing older man.

Card

81 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A text message exchange shows a request to buy a card because a coworker's husband was deported. The image below the message shows a greeting card that says "Adios!" with an image of a chihuahua wearing a sombrero. The second text message below the card says "what the fuck is wrong with you?"

Spider

14 views · The Radio Demon · 2 years ago

true fr

The image shows a text on the top that says: "when your taking a shower and the spider in the corner starts crawling down". The bottom image shows Elsa from Frozen with a scared face, her right hand with icy elements in the air.

Horse

28 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image is split into two parts. The upper part shows a man explaining something with a frantic expression, standing in front of a wall covered with papers connected with red threads. The text says, "Me explaining that a pregnant horse can run faster cause it has two horsepower". The bottom part shows a seal with a bored and unimpressed look. The text says, "My physics teacher."

Human

11 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image is a four-panel comic featuring the trollface character. In the top left, the trollface is lifting weights with the text "A human can lift more than their weight". The top right panel shows the trollface sitting with the text "1) pick yourself up". In the bottom left panel, the trollface is flying over a city with the text "2) fly". The bottom right panel shows a dark night sky with a trollface in it.

Name

72 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image shows a question asking for a name for a person who is Jewish and Chinese. The response suggests "David Wongstein".

Honor

14 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A man in a suit with a serious look is standing in front of a grey background. Above and below him are two text blocks: "Your honor, it wasn't a 'hate crime'" and "It was a 'gamer moment'".

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