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1) buy a lobster
[deleted] by
My friend is in forensics and works on crime
scenes. They find a woman laying on the
bathroom floor with a head wound and live
baby shrimp on the floor with a smell of burnt
residue. After 3 days of investigation, they
figured out what happened.
Long story short, she bought a lobster from
the market. In the market, they feed the
lobster live baby shrimp until they're sold. This
woman brings the lobster home, inserts the
lobster's tail into her vagina, lights a lighter
and puts the flame towards the lobster's head,
so the lobster will frantically start shaking his
tail (which is inside her vagina), giving her the
jollies. Apparently she killed the lobster from
burning his head too long, the lobster, being
dead, voids his bowels, causing this lobster to
shit live baby shrimp into her vagina. This
woman then goes to pee and sees live baby
shrimp crawling out of her vagina, she freaks
out, falls, and cracks her head open on the
bathtub and dies.
it happened in Chicago in 2001
?
---
14
1) wait for horny
Chicago 2001
"Lobster Love" Incident

The image is a screenshot of a 4chan post with green text on a black background. It depicts a dystopian scenario in a future where Hillary Clinton has become a supreme ruler and implemented a series of drastic measures.

The image displays a text that says "Boomer ladies: Hahah minion memes. Millennial girls: oh no, Donald Trump racist. 14 y.o girls:". Below there is an image of a girl with superimposed text that reads "SHE SHITS HERSELF".

The image shows a text at the top explaining the difference between pedophiles and hebephiles. Below there is a picture of an orange wood chipper with the text "But the wood chipper doesn't care."

The image shows text at the top defining pedophiles as being attracted to kids under 13-14 and hebephiles as being attracted to teens, adding that there is a difference. Underneath is a picture of a large yellow wood chipper with the text, "But the Wood Chipper doesn't care."

The image shows a Facebook post with comments about a tragic shooting, followed by a picture of a troll-face character smirking next to a computer that is on fire. The Facebook post has various comments with Todd responding to the initial tragedy with "Probably coffin brochures" and "Bullets?".

The image shows a green cartoon character with red eyes. Below the image is text of a story about a date gone wrong, ending with the line "That's my story of how I got cockblocked by motherfucking al qaeda."

The image is a screenshot from a video with two people in the foreground, peeking out of a hole in the ground. Behind them are a dog, a person with a camouflage outfit, and a pig also wearing a camouflage outfit. The text on the image says "They found the meth!"

Based Shadow

The image shows a tweet by user amyroses saying "don't break peoples hearts! they only have one :(". Below that, user shadow replied saying "yeah break their bones, they have 206."

The image is a screenshot of a 4chan conversation with two photos attached. The first photo shows a very simple, mostly white bedroom with a bed, a ceiling fan, and a window. The second photo shows a bedroom with a wooden nightstand next to a bed, a green lamp, a bottle of beer, and a pizza box on the nightstand. The text above the photos reads: "Do males really live like this?" The subsequent messages are "yeah although I put a cool t-rex lamp next to my bed", "that's fucking sick dude" and "based t-rex chad"

The image shows a series of posts. The first post asks, "Remember in college you were making out with Betty from your CompSci class and she put a finger up your butt. So you started questioning your sexual preference?" with a reply, "IT WAS MY FINGER BARRY!". The second post starts with, "Remember when you were jacking off with no clothes on for the first time just to try it out? Remember when your Mom walked by and saw everything, even though you were sure that you had closed the door?" followed by the reply, "It was me, Barry! I opened the door! And don't think for a moment that I didn't see everything too!!". The third post reads, "Remember that wet dream that ruined your favorite cartoon bed spread as a teen?!" with the reply "IT WAS ME, BARRY! I JERKED YOU OFF IN YOUR SLEEP!!"

Im totally not drunk 2.0

As a man can confirm

A toy in its packaging is labeled "Useless Man". It says, "This man contributes absolutely nothing to society! Lazy. Unwashed. Just lies around all day eating chips. Now with clothing!"

Title

An image shows a furry white wolf sitting, looking sad with a rainy background. On top it reads "8 BILLION PEOPLE" and on the bottom "14 BILLION BUTT CHEEKS" with two sad emojis.

When you see it, you won't be able to unsee it

A screenshot of the time.is website, showing the current time as 09:45:00.134. The time is displayed in a large font. Text in greek says "You have exactly the correct time!" Also listed are time zones for Los Angeles, New York, London, Paris, Moscow, Beijing, and Tokyo.

Send the numbers and i will answer honestly

A black and white image titled "ASK THE ADMIN" with the Instagram handle "IN.LOVE.WITH.BOOKSLIG" below it, followed by a list of 50 questions. Each question is numbered. There are heart symbols at the top corners of the image.

An orange cartoon bear is in the foreground, looking slightly to the right. The text above him reads, "guess who is going to be reported missing on August 14 at 2:37 pm".

I AGREE WITH THIS HAHAHA

A picture shows a young boy holding up a makeshift gun made of a dollar bill towards another younger boy's head. The younger boy is pinned up against a red door.

Help

A screenshot of a chat. At the top is a video of a child stating "I AM ADOLF HITLER. COMMANDER OF THE THRID REICH. LITTLE KNOWN FACT ALSO DOPE ON ZE MIC." Underneath, the chat continues with "Bro getting horny. And that's his little sister too. Exactly. Alabama go wild."

Does anybody play vrchat

Two people in a hole in the ground are shown. They are looking up with surprised expressions. Above them are two dogs and another person also looking into the hole. The text on the image says "They found the meth!".

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