How many times does 50 fit into 9?
Get in a van and find out!
Why couldn’t the booty be on social media?
It had too many FOLLOWERS behind it.
Why don’t butts ever win at cards?
Too many farts!
Person 1: “How many ph vids have you watched today?”
Person 2: “Seven.”
Person 1: “What the fuck, dude.”
Person 2: “I know, right? I’ve gotten seven ads for Pizza Hut in the past hour.”
(Based on an encounter I had recently)
Only if Africans knew about condoms, so many mosquitoes wouldn't die of AIDS.
How many Karens does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one...to call 911 and demand a cop come do something about the intimidating blackness.
Regular depressed person: I'm depressed, so I'll go see a therapist.
Me: I'm depressed, so I won't do anything about it, work on many projects at the same time, destroying my sanity slowly while relying on caffeine and pills as my only way to take down my headaches, and making memes about it online to help myself cope with the pain.
There are too many suicidal people in this world. I’m going to make sure there is at least one less.
Crying babies are like parties. No matter how many times you try to end it, it keeps going.
BREAKING NEWS
All the desert regions in the world are now considered lush rainforests. They house many different species of life and have significantly helped with the constant carbon dioxide emissions.
The reason why is because... Your texts are so dry.
I've asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for. So far, no one has given me a straight answer.