Lent jokes

What is an Italian massage?

An Italian Catholic priest giving a blowjob inside the confessional booth during Lent.

Why is sucking cock inside the confessional booth the only thing that a catholic priest doesn't have to give up for lent?

Because catholic priests don't have to be vegetarians during lent.

Daughter: Hey Dad, can I use your car?

Dad: Sure, but first you have to give me a blow job."

Daughter: Okay, (proceeds to service dad). Dad, ewww, your dick tastes like shite!"

Dad: Oh, that's right, I lent your brother the car.

I lent my calculator to a friend. He is using it to this day.

I lent my sister my bed. The next morning, she told me it worked like a dream.

I lent a hot girl my umbrella yesterday. That takes the number of girls I've made wet this year to -1.