What is an Italian massage?
An Italian Catholic priest giving a blowjob inside the confessional booth during Lent.
Why is sucking cock inside the confessional booth the only thing that a catholic priest doesn't have to give up for lent?
Because catholic priests don't have to be vegetarians during lent.
Daughter: Hey Dad, can I use your car?
Dad: Sure, but first you have to give me a blow job."
Daughter: Okay, (proceeds to service dad). Dad, ewww, your dick tastes like shite!"
Dad: Oh, that's right, I lent your brother the car.
I lent my calculator to a friend. He is using it to this day.
I lent my sister my bed. The next morning, she told me it worked like a dream.
I lent a hot girl my umbrella yesterday. That takes the number of girls I've made wet this year to -1.
